Blue or pink...

I had every intention of finding out the sex of the baby. I am usually the type of girl who likes surprises. I don't shake the presents under the Christmas tree. I wait until I open them to find out. But, I wanted to know if I was having a boy or a girl so bad. I couldn't even stand the wait. I was told that at my 16 week sonogram, they might be able to tell.

I didn't care if I was getting a boy or a girl as long as the baby was healthy. Isn't that what all mothers think? I wanted a boy because I was such a tomboy and both my husband and I are really into sports. I kept imagining going to his soccer and baseball games and taking him to his first football and hockey games. I wanted a girl because I am best friends with my mother and I wanted that same relationship with my little girl. I wanted someone to go shopping with, someone that would share her puppy love and heartaches with me. So there were definite dreams to be fulfilled with either gender.

But there were also practical reasons for finding out. My sisters-in-law both have young boys and they had tons of hand-me-downs. They had clothes that still had tags on them. And they are the type of people that have designer duds for their kids so if I was going to have a boy, he would be really well dressed. I also wanted to know how I was going to decorate baby's room, and what type of accessories to get.

So my appt was finally here but my husband couldn't get the day off from work. He didn't want me to find out if he couldn't know at the same time. But I knew he wouldn't be able to wait so I wasn't worried. I made my mother go with me. They did the sonogram and it was the most unbelievable sonogram yet. They were able to see the blood flowing through the baby's veins and the chambers of the heart. I just remember thinking that it is so convenient that the baby is clear so they can see everything. It is ridiculous but that is what I was thinking. Everything looked great, the organs were functioning well. Healthy baby - check!

Now for the good stuff. But how do I find out without my husband there? The nurse was very helpful. She said she could tell the sex of the baby and she would take a picture and write it down. She would stick it in an envelope and seal it so I could open it up with my husband. Problem solved!

So as soon as I got out of the appt, I called my husband. Like I said, he couldn't wait to find out so he made me open the envelope right then in the parking garage. I took out the picture and there was a little arrow pointing to something and the caption said, "IT'S A BOY!" I couldn't tell what the arrow was pointing at, though I can probably take a good guess. I could tell my husband was soooo excited. I was very excited too because I really did want a boy. But I wasn't expecting the disappointment that I felt that I wasn't going to get my girl. At least not yet. I am sure I would have had that same disappointment if I had found out it was a girl. Then I was ashamed that I had those feelings. I had just found out that I was having a healthy baby boy and I couldn't be more excited. Then once it sank in, I couldn't wait to prepare for this little man to come into our lives!