Thanksgiving...

I was on vacation for 2 weeks and what a wonderful 2 weeks it was. I was able to spend loads of time with my son. In fact, I haven't been able to spend that much time with him since I was on maternity leave. I loved every moment of it. This is such a great age. He loves to play with his toys and read his books. He walks/runs all over the place. He is also fiercely independent and can spend a good 1/2 hour playing on his own. But then he runs over to me and I scoop him up and give him big hugs.

Thanksgiving took place during my time off. We went to my parents house. Every year we get together with my aunt, uncle, cousins and their kids. My two cousins and I all had babies within a couple weeks of each other but last year they were just newborns around the holidays. This was really the first opportunity for them to interact with each other. Unfortunately one of my cousins and her 2 kids couldn't make it. But my other cousin made up for that. She has 2 girls, one is 6 and the other is just a year like my little man. At first they were wary of each other which is ok. But after they were in the same room for a little while, they started to play. And when I say play, I mean running. They ran around the hall, through the living room, around the dinner table and back down the hall. The little ones were chasing each other while screaming and laughing at the top of their lungs. The 6 year old would go the opposite direction and scare them as they turned the corner which prompted more giggles and laughter. They were having a ball. I loved it. I was so happy that they got along and I hope this will be the start of a very close friendship with his cousins.

As for the food, everything was delicious. Thanksgiving dinner is something I look forward to all year. Mostly for the time with family but for the food as well. My son was eating the pre-dinner goodies like cheese and

Baby's first Halloween...

So my son's first real Halloween (he was only a day old last Halloween) started with his doctor's appointment. I had been planning to pass out candy with him in his costume. But I wasn't so sure since so much had happened at the doctor that day. When we got home from the doctor, he slept for 3 hours which is highly unusal for him. I thought I would play it by ear and turn on the porch lights if he seemed up to it.

By the time the kids started going door to door, he was still sleepy so I kept the lights off. As the night wore on, he seemed to get his spunk back but it seemed a little late to start passing out candy. My street was pretty much deserted anyway so I decided to load him into the car and go to grandma's house so at least she could see him all dressed up.

When we got there, he was so excited to see her, my father and their two dogs. He was just shrieking in delight. It was so funny and adorable. I had dressed him in flesh colored sweatpants because it was essential for his costume. I pulled it out the bag and proceeded to dress him. It was a Donald Duck costume. My best friend is a huge Disney fan and she bought it for him. The body is big and puffy and his legs stick out, hence the sweatpants. I didn't want him to be just bare-legged though it probably would have been even funnier that way. And the head was like a hat where his face was open but Donald's head sat on top of his head. I can't even begin to describe how funny it is. I laugh, not just a giggle, but a huge belly laugh every time I see it.

And it made him off balance. He waddles just because that is how he walks normally but it was even more pronounced and the perfect compliment to the outfit. We passed out candy at my mom's house with him as Donald Duck and me as his proud mommy. We stayed for about an hour and then I got him home, thinking he would sleep well. It was a big day.

When we got home, he was all wound up and it was a good hour before he settled down for the night. I watched him as he slept, wondering where the year went and fully understanding when people say that they grow up so fast.

1 Year Doctor appt...

I had heard horror stories from my good friend about baby's 1 year doctor well-check. She had her son 3 months before me so I always use her as a gauge for what will be happening in our lives. She said that they gave him his shots and also took blood. She was sent to the diagnostic labs and they took blood from him just like an adult, with the rubber tournequet and needle with vials. Now my little one will not sit still for anything, let alone having a needle put in his arm. So I was terrified. I figured that I would go for our appointment and have my husband come with me to the lab for his bloodwork.

He has always been such a good boy for our doctor visits, sitting nicely, smiling at the doctor, and only crying when he gets his shots. This time was a whole different story. He is just so active now that he has mastered walking that sitting in the waiting room was torture. He wanted to climb up in everything and was constantly trying to wiggle out of my arms when I held him. When we were finally called, I undressed him for his weigh-in. He was fine for that but when I tried to get his diaper back on, he practically jumped off of the scale. He wouldn't lay still for the nurse to check his length. Eventually he let me put his diaper on and the nurse took that opportunity to see how long he was. He gained about a pound since his 9 month visit and is now off the chart for weight. He was in the 5th percentile but not anymore. They said they aren't concerned yet. He is just tiny. He is in the 25th percentile for length where he has been all along. So he is long and skinny at this point.

The nurse walked us to the patient's room and said she was going to take his blood. I couldn't believe it was going to happen right then and there. She said they do a finger prick. I held him in my lap and she pricked his finger. He didn't even flinch and I didn't even know when it had happened. Then she had to squeeze his little finger until 1/2 a vial was filled. The tests should take a couple of days and if they see anything, they may send him for more bloodwork. They check levels of lead and things like that.

Then I had to wait in the patient room and he was all over the place again. He didn't want to be held. There was so many new things to look at that he couldn't bear to be in one spot. When the doctor came in, I had to hold him and pace otherwise he would squirm and cry out. She said that he is doing this because he is gets frustrated with his physical limitations and can't express himself verbally yet. This happens to early walkers. They can move around but can't do all of the things they want and they can't say what they want yet.

I have switched to cow's milk now and things seem to be going well. He loves his milk and hasn't had any digestive issues. The doctor told me to keep feeding him full fat foods and just offer a healthy variety of foods because he has become picky all of a sudden. She said that is normal. She also said that they at around this age their big growth spurts aren't as frequent so I may see a drop in his appetite.

I had been worried about the heart murmur that she had heard at his 6 month check-up. She didn't hear it at his 9 month and didn't hear it again at this visit. So now I feel better. When she was done checking him over, she left and sent the nurse back in. He had to get 4 shots this time - MMR, Chicken Pox and something else I can't remember now. He also got his flu shot. He screamed and cried for a few seconds and then was fine. By the time I got him out of there and into the car, he was asleep. He slept for 3 hours when we got home which was fine. He probably needed it. Then he was absolutely fine when he woke up, no fever or ill effects from the shots. I have to take him back in 4 weeks for his second flu shot. Then back again in 3 months. Hopefully he will grow a little more so they don't have reason to be concerned.

What a mess...

So this morning my son got up earlier than usual, by about a 1/2 hour or so. I didn't mind because that would give me time to get ready for work and then sit and relax with him and maybe give him his breakfast which is usually his daddy's job. I have probably written this before but our morning routine consists of me changing him and giving him a bottle. He is not a big eater in the morning but I just give him a couple of ounces to hold him over until he gets his oatmeal. Then I gather up a bunch of toys and bring them into the bathroom with me. He gets to play with toys on the floor while I shower. I can keep an eye on him and I play peek-a-boo from behind the shower curtain. Usually everything is fine and I am able to spend time with him while I get ready for work.

Today started out no different. I got into the shower and his new trick is to get between the shower curtain and the shower liner and walk back and forth over and over again. He did that for a while and then started banging one of his toys on the floor. Then he was quiet all of a sudden. I peeked out and he was sitting quietly with no pants on playing with a toy. His pants somehow came off of him so he was just in his onesie. I done within less than a minute of checking on him. I toweled off and got out of the shower.

The scene before me almost made my heart stop. He was sitting in what appeared to be a pool of blood. I think my heart did stop. Then I realized what it really was. Bright Red Nail Polish! That's right. Nail polish! I have no idea where he got it from. In fact, I can't remember the last time I used nail polish. Certainly not since before I was pregnant. But there it was, all over him and all over the floor. I was stunned for a minute and didn't know where to start. I picked him up and put him in the empty tub. Then I sopped up the mess on the floor with some nail polish remover that I found in a cupboard. It came up but you can still see the slight pinkish tint.

The problem was that my husband couldn't get in the door to help until I was able to get the mess on the floor cleaned up first. He was then able to get in and we got the water going in the bath tub. My son had nail polish all over his legs and on one hand. We got it off of his hand but couldn't get it off of his legs and feet. I didn't want to use the remover on his skin but nothing else seemed to be working. I called the doctor and she told me to use baby oil and soak him in a tub to get it loosened and gently scrub it off. I had to leave that for my husband because I had to get to work. Hopefully it worked. I guess this is my introduction to things like crayon on the walls, etc. That extra 1/2 hour that I thought I would have to spend time with him, I did spend time with him. But I wasn't expecting it to be on clean-up duty. Oh well. I am just glad it wasn't worse.

B-Day Party...

I haven't posted in a while because I have been so busy at work, getting ready for vacation this week. So, we had baby's first birthday party this past weekend. He won't actually be one until the 30th but scheduling called for it to be earlier.

We went to a pumpkin farm that has hayrides, amusement park rides, a petting zoo, a haunted house, etc. I was looking for a place that would be good for a bunch of kids because we have lots of little ones ranging from 1 year to 8 years old. Unfortunately it was like a hurricane on Saturday. The grounds were muddy and slippery. The party was indoors though so that was good. Another stroke of luck was that there was a radio station sponsoring a trick-or-treat event right in the same building. So the kids came dressed up and everyone had a great time.

I got my son a birthday cake just for him. We all sang happy birthday and let him dig in. He didn't go for it right away so I gave him a little taste of the frosting. Then it was over. He was covered in cake. He LOVED it. Then I got some on my husband and he got some on me. It was almost an all out cake war. When he was done we got him cleaned up and opened presents. He didn't care one bit about the presents and just wanted to get out of his seat and walk around. He was fascinated by everyone in costume. All in all, it was a great first birthday party. I think everyone was too tired to worry about the rain and the outdoor activities anyway.

I just really cannot believe it has been one year. It is amazing how his little personality has changed so much in that year, from a little bundle that couldn't do much but give me gasy smiles to a little man who has a mind of his own. He is so independent yet he is so sweet and cuddly. I can't wait until he understands more of the world around him because I love to see the excitement and wonder in his eyes.

Lions and tigers and bears, oh my...

I had been dying to take my little one to the zoo. I have been putting it off because I wanted to be sure that he would have the capacity to look at the animals and be excited. This past weekend was so beautiful that my mother and I decided to take him. My husband was not too happy about not being able to be there for his first zoo experience but the day was too nice to pass up.

I got up early and had to do my grocery shopping. My husband wasn't home so I had to take my son with me. When he was small, I was able to put his car seat basket in the front of the cart and he would fall asleep. Now he sits in the cart and keeps me company as I shop. Unfortunately he hadn't napped prior to the trip and couldn't nap during. I was hoping he would go down while I put the groceries away at home and got ready for the outing. He didn't. He was wide awake and playing all over the place. I got him dressed and packed him into the car. By the time I got to my mother's house, I was sure that he had fallen asleep. But when I went to get him out of the car, there he was, eyes open wide.

My mother had some errands to run so I told her we would go along for the ride and hopefully he would fall asleep for at least an hour. He didn't. He didn't fall asleep until we were literally pulling into the parking lot of the zoo.

I tried my best to get him out of his carseat and into his stroller without waking him. I was almost successful but not quite. He opened his eyes as I was strapping him in to the stroller. I laid the seat all the way back and thought he might go right back to sleep but with all of the people and all of the kids around, he was too nosy to drift off. What if he missed something important? He had to take it all in.

When we walked through the gates, the first exhibit was the elephant habitat. The elephants were out and they were eating and standing on display in all of their glory. My son loves his little elephant toy at home so I was eager to see how he reacted. He just sat there. I pointed them out to him and sounded as excited as I could. But he was still in the fog of interrupted sleep. We went on to the next exhibit, and the next, and the next. He showed no interest. He didn't smile, laugh, cry. Nothing.

After we had circled the entire zoo, we wanted to end up at the brand new rainforest exhibit. It had just opened and we were looking forward to it. I peeked into the stroller and his little eyes were rolling back in his head. After that full day he was finally falling asleep. We decided that we would see the rainforest another day and got him back to the car. He was so exhausted that his eyes stayed glued shut while I strapped him into the seat. He slept all the way home.

I was disappointed that he didn't have a good time. Maybe he just didn't like the animals and maybe it was just that his mean mommy didn't let him nap. In any case, I am going to try the zoo again but the next time I will be sure he is well rested.

Weekend outing...

So we had our "birthday" party this weekend with my cousins and their kids. We went to a pumpkin farm located about 1/2 hour from my house. I was shocked when we pulled up because it looked like an amusement park. I was expecting a field with a bunch of pumkins and some hay. I knew there were hayrides so I thought there would be a truck with hay in the back. Nothing fancy. But when we got there, there was a ferris wheel, a merry-go-round, and other rides. There were food stations, like at a county fair. There was a big warehouse that had a gift shop, a bakery, a haunted house. There was also a petting zoo with little goats and pony rides for the kids.

My little one LOVED the goats. He wanted to pet them but none would come near us. I guess they don't bother with you unless you have food. He was content watching them though. He also liked to just walk around and look at everything. I always tell him that he is being nosy because he is always staring at other people, fascinated by what they are doing. We watched the rides and the people.

When the rest of my family got there, we ate the carnival food. I got a hamburger and my husband got a chicken sandwich. There was a bad mayo incident so my husband didn't eat his sandwich. I started to give the baby some hamburger and he wouldn't stop eating. He practically ate the whole thing. When we were done eating, we decided to take the babies on some rides. We took them on the merry-go-round. I wouldn't have agreed to it if I knew there were no seatbelts. But the mom's stood and held the babies on the horses. It was small and didn't go fast but I wasn't expecting the horses to go up and down while the ride went in a circle. I think he had fun though. Then I took him on a little choo choo train. He absolutely loved that one. He could look at everything as it went by and everytime we got to my husband and parents, he waved. I can't believe he went on his first rides.

Then we got pictures with all of the babies on a huge haystack. The other 2 little babies aren't really mobile. My son is in the middle of them age-wise. One is a couple weeks older and the other is a couple of weeks younger. They sat nice and still while my little monkey was all over the place. We got the best pictures we could in that situation.

Then we went to the pumpkin patch which was just a huge area full of pumpkins for sale. We got another picture of all of the kids sitting on or among the pumpkins. Those came out great.

Overall, we had a great time. It was perfect for kids (there were two other kids ages 4 and 7). It was a beautiful day out, sunny and only needed sweaters and hats. We are having his actual party there in a couple of weeks and I can't wait to go back.

Rough night...

I think I may have ruined my long nights of sleep training in one night. My son would not go to bed last night. I know he was exhausted. He started rubbing his eyes at around 7pm. But he wouldn't settle down either. I tried to get him to calm down but he was perfectly content to run around all over the place. He finally let me hold him still and rock him a bit. I put him to bed at around 9:30pm. It was around 1am when he started crying. Usually he just cries out in his sleep or whines a little and falls back asleep quickly. But this crying was different. I had only heard a cry like this once before a few months ago. It was like he was pleading for someone to come to him. It was so sad and heartbreaking.

So I went to him. I rubbed his back but he was inconsolable. I didn't want to pick him up because I was afraid that would set me back after all the work we put into getting him to sleep through the night again. But he was not comforted by it. So I picked him up against my better judgement. I picked him up because my heart told me it was necessary. He was distressed and he needed his mommy. I picked him up and he stopped crying. He had big, fat tears rolling down his face and he was having trouble catching his breath. I held him and cradled him. I put my cheek against his cheek and he drifted back to sleep, safe in my arms. I held him for a while to be sure he was asleep before attempting to get him back in his crib. The second I put him down, the sobbing started again.

I went and got my husband. Sometimes he has better luck getting him to sleep and to stay sleeping. He wouldn't go down for him either. He asked if I wanted him to bring him into bed with us. We did this once before as well but it was a nightmare. No one got any sleep. But he was a little older now so I thought we would give it a try.

That was a mistake. He was so excited by the change in his surroundings that he just wanted to stand up and walk all over the bed. It was like he was wide awake and it was time to get up and play. My husband took him back to his room to get him sleepy by sitting with him in our rocker and then brought him back. He settled right down but he is a tosser and a turner. At one point he slammed his rock-hard head into my nose. It hurt but I was ok. Not 2 minutes later he did the same thing to my mouth. I instantly tasted blood. He busted my lip wide open. I was more concerned about him though because it must have hurt him. He started crying a "I'm hurt" cry.

I should have just put him back in his crib and rubbed his back until he stopped crying. That didn't seem to be working but I should have stuck to my rules. Instead we had picked him up, taken him to sleep with us. Ultimately I took him to the couch and we slept, cuddling. I am dreading tonight because I am sure I undid all of our work. We will see.

Walking machine...

My son has been "walking" for a few weeks. At first he would go a couple of steps and fall. Then he would crawl to his destination. As the days went by, he started to add more steps before falling. When he was able to get halfway across the room before falling on his little bottom, my husband and I were so excited.

The change was so gradual and very quick at the same time. Yesterday when I got home from work, my husband informed me that our son was no longer crawling. I found that was a slight exaggeration but it was almost true. Where before he was indifferent to whether he crawled or walked, he was now almost exclusively walking. And this all happened in a day.

He is more confident with his steps. He still falls a lot but he can get further and further before he does. He also gets up from the middle of the floor. Before he would need something to pull up on to get into a standing position and to get steady enough to begin his trek. I was truly amazed that this had happened so quickly, literally overnight.

He still looks like a wobbly and almost drunk but I just figure it is his signature walk for now. He has even shown signs of wanting to run. He will come stumbling toward me at a great rate of speed and it is a wonder that he can even stay up.

A friend of mine had her baby 3 months before me. I asked her what her son is doing these days. He took his first steps the day after his 1st birthday and it took a few weeks for him to get the hang of it. Apparently he is now running and never wants to sit down. I feel like we are not that far behind that stage.

In any case, it is very exciting. To see this little tiny person walking around is so funny and miraculous at the same time. I just don't get how they instinctively know how to do it without anyone teaching them. Just one day they are immobile, then they start rolling, then on all fours, then rocking back and forth until they move, then crawling, then standing up and cruising, then walking and running. What is next? I am sure he will be roller blading next month.

Planning a b-day party...

Who knew that planning a birthday party for a one-year old could be stressful. It isn't like I am planning a wedding. I am an only child and my father's side of the family lives all the way across the country. So my mother's family lives close-by and we have always held holidays and birthdays as a family with my aunts, uncles and cousins. Now that we are having babies, we celebrate the kids birthdays as well. Here is the dilemma. My cousins and I all had babies around the same time. One baby was born in mid-September, one was born at the end of October and the third was born mid-November. On top of that, there were already two other kids in the family - one born at the end of October and one at the beginning of November. I want a party for my son and they wanted parties for their babies and older children. We would be having 5 birthday parties within a couple weeks of each other. But my party was also to include my side of the family, my husband's side and our friends. So how would we handle all of this birthday madness?

What we decided was to have a "party" for the 5 kids on my side together. It would be just for us. We will go somewhere fun and we can visit and eat, exchange gifts and sing Happy Birthday. Then each of us would have another party for the rest of the people we wanted involved. So we will get together this weekend to celebrate as a family. Then on my son's real birthday, we will have another party with my husband's family and our friends.

For his real party we will be going to a pumpkin farm. They have food and goodie bags for the kids. There will be hayrides, a corn maze, a petting zoo, trick or treating, face painting. It should be fun. I am going to dress him up as Donald Duck. I can't wait!

Baby's first wedding part 2...

So my best friend's wedding was on Friday. The rehearsal and rehearsal dinner was the night before. Spouses and children were invited for the rehearsal. I had told my husband about it weeks ago and asked if he wanted to go. I know he doesn't usually like to go to things like that so I gave him every opportunity to say no. I must have asked him a dozen times. Each time he say he would go. Thursday morning he tells me he isn't going. I told him he had to go now because I included him in the count. I told him that they have to pay for the number of people they told the banquet hall would be attending and it was rude for him to not go. He said it was a buffet and he was sure there wouldn't be any food going to waste. I really couldn't believe that he wasn't understanding. It isn't the food, it is the fact that they have to pay for the people, even if they don't go because that is what the place would charge. He thought I was wasn't really mad but I was furious. He kept saying, "I know you aren't really mad". He must have realized it pretty quickly though because after he worked 1/2 day, he called and said he would go. Either that or he was hungry and knew I wouldn't be making anything that night. So we went, the three of us. The rehearsal was your normal rehearsal, nothing spectacular. But the dinner was excellent. The food was great. The company was even better. I had a great time and thought that if the rehearsal was any indication of how the wedding would be, then we were going to havea really good time the next day. Even my son seemed to enjoy himself, being passed along to everyone and getting a ton of attention.

The next day was the wedding. The girls would be getting ready at a hotel suite and I was supposed to be there at 10am. My husband didn't get out of work early and I ended up getting there at Noon. I was so panicked about being able to get ready in time that I threw some curlers in my hair while I was still home, even though my friend had hired to people to do hair at the hotel. It looked ridiculous. But I got there in plenty of time to get my hair done. Crisis averted. The limo wasn't picking us up until 4pm so I was a ball of nerves. My friend seemed calm and collected but my foot would not stop shaking. Maybe it was because I was nervous for the event but probably because our dresses were not there yet and there was a bridesmaid who was misssing in action. There is a whole drama about the dresses. She picked them out almost 2 years ago and they were ordered. Her colors were black and red. Her sister had an all black dress, I had an all red dress and the rest of the wedding party had dresses that were either black on top and red on the bottom or vice versa. When my dress came in months ago, it wasn't the right color. It was red but not the right red. So unbenounced to me, my friend ordered the same style as the other girls but in all red. It finally came in about 4 weeks before the wedding. I went in to try it on, nervous because when I was measured initally I was 3 months pregnant. So I had no idea if the thing would fit. It fit like a glove. But I am tiny so it was about 5 feet too long. All she needed to do was hem it. She wasn't done with any of the dresses the week before the wedding and promised that she would deliver them to the hotel at 1pm. Well, at 2pm I started to panick but I didn't want the bride to get upset, so I just kept it to myself. They finally showed up close to 4pm, just before the limo got there. And they looked perfect. The pictures were fabulous, the ceremony was beautiful and the reception was so much fun. It was the best wedding I had ever been too.

My son was there with my husband and parents. He seemed to enjoy himself too. There was a tiny little girl in a pink dress there too and they seemed to hit it off. They took turns shrieking in each others faces. It was adorable. But the he started to get sleepy so my parents took him home. He didn't even get to stay for the music. I was dying to see if he would dance but it was not meant to be. My parents took him home with them and it was his first night away from home. When we got home, the house seemed strangely empty and I missed him. I didn't even sleep in. I was up by 6:15am which is about the time he usually gets me up. I went to my parents house and they fed us breakfast. He did great overnight. My husband thinks that is invitation to have him stay there all the time. But I disagree. We shall see. Overall, baby's first wedding was an overwhelming success.

Baby's first wedding...

So my best friend is getting married on Friday. We have been planning this wedding for almost 2 years and I can't believe it is finally here. I think I am more nervous than she is, maybe because I have to give a speech. I hate public speaking, especially into a microphone. And I am not a super emotional person - I don't cry at movies or weddings. I have a feeling that I will cry while I am talking because of the nerves and maybe I will be emotional. I find that I am more emotional now that I have had a baby than I was before. I wrote out the speech and just reading it is fine but when I rehearse it in my head, I get the throat burn and teary eyes.

We had initially thought my husband's parents would watch the baby but then we decided that he would come with us. I don't necessarily want a baby at a wedding but my parents will be there so they can help watch him. Plus he is practically her nephew so I would think that she would want him there.

A couple of weeks ago we were trying to get the rest of the responses by phone for those people that didn't send back their response cards. One of her cousins said that he was bringing his 3 children. She was upset about it and made comments about it being and adult reception and she couldn't believe they would bring their kids uninvited. I was nervous to ask about bringing baby.

Then yesterday she said that I should just bring him. I hadn't said anything but she just brought it up. Now I feel much better and I have to go get him a suit. He is going to look so adorable. I am excited about his first wedding, especially because he likes to dance. I am concerned with how loud the music will be but my parents offered to take him home with them and he can stay the night at their house. It will also be his first night sleeping away from home. I have been putting that off for almost a year now so I should be ok by now. I was just hoping he would be sleeping through the night so my parents won't refuse overnight visits in the future. Hopefully everything will be fine.

What is he thinking...

Do you ever wonder what could possibly be going through your child's mind? I marvel every day at my son. I can just see the neurons firing off and connections being made in his brain. First it started when he was able to put food in his mouth on his own. I bought Gerber Puffs when he was about 9 months old. He was pretty quick to learn how to pick them up and bring them to his mouth. Most babies that I know also put everything else in their mouths when they learn this skill. I am surprised that my son doesn't. He rarely puts things in his mouth, even when he is teething. I think I saw him pick up a stray piece of paper from the floor and put it in his mouth once. I rushed to him yelling NO NO NO NO. But I was too late and had to pry his mouth open to get it out. Since that time I haven't seen him even try to eat anything unless it is really food. I guess I have seen him try to eat dog food but I catch him in the act. So how does he know what is food and what isn't without putting it in his mouth? I wonder what he is thinking.

I am also amazed at his verbal skills. His babbling has definitely evolved. He now carries on conversations in some language that he understands. I answer back to him pretending I know what he is saying. Yesterday we went to my parents house to visit and watch football. He just talked non-stop to anyone who would listen, including his toys. He LOVES the phone and goes crazy whenever it rings. When I am home and try to get him to listen to the person at the other end of the line, he is more interested in grabbing the phone and playing with it. Yesterday while we were there, my father called his mother - my son's great-grandmother. She lives all the way across the country and has never seen my son in person. My father held the phone to my son's ear and he listened intently, never even tried to grab the phone. He would say words (i.e. deedee dada, bubba, etc). It was as if was mesmerized by her voice. Then I realized she was probably speaking Spanish to him (her and my father's first language). He was probably listening to a language he has never heard before and was fascinated. I wonder what he was thinking.

And most amazing of all is his ability to try to resolve something. The other day I was watching him and he was playing with a toy. I don't know what toy it was but it was like a long, skinny tube. My end tables in my living room have vertical wooden slats, about an inch apart. He put the toy through one of the opening and it rested there in the bottom shelf of the table. So he could see if through the opening but it didn't fall all the way to the ground. For the next 15 minutes he tried to get that toy. He was very patient, never getting frustrated. He tried to get his little fingers through, he tried to get his whole hand through. He looked at it at different angles. Then I saw him tear his gaze away from the toy and look all around him as if he thought it might have gotten out on its own. Then he saw another toy, skinny enough to fit through the opening. He got that toy and was using it as a tool to get the other one out. I couldn't believe that he realized that using another object could help him get something out of its hiding place. It didn't work but I was proud of his effort. I wonder what he was thinking.

Why buy toys when you have a cardboard box...

My son is tiny so we didn't have to switch from the infant car seat basket for quite a while. We have a larger car seat that is convertible from infant to who knows how old. It has been in its box sitting in my coat closet since my shower. We broke it out a couple of weeks ago and had a nice big box left over. My husband wanted to cut it up and put it out with the recycling bin but I insisted that we keep it. I wanted to make a little fort out of it for my son.

The other day I got home from work and there was the fort in the middle of my living room. My husband had cut out windows and poked a bunch of holes in the top. With string he hung toys on the inside. If you picture the box on its side, the actual top of the box is the entrance and the ceiling is one of the sides. He LOVED it. I am sure I could have left him alone to run to the store and he would have still be playing in when I got back. He loved the toys hanging down. He loved to drop things out of the window. He loved to crawl into it and back out, over and over again. I didn't really leave him to go to the store but I did pick up my book and was able to read it while keeping an eye on him out of the corner of my eye.

I thought the fort was the best thing in the world. But I was wrong, there was something better. Last night I came home and my living room had a whole tunnel system leading to the fort. Using the couch and ottoman as barriers, my husband draped blankets and the room became a maze. He told me to crawl through it. I crawled down one end and had to make a left turn. When I turned, I could see the fort was all lit up. He had taken the music/light box that came with our pack-n-play and rigged it through the window. I wish that I had something like that when I was little. I had cardboard houses but nothing like this. My son followed me in and we played until I became clausterphobic.

I couldn't believe my husband was so creative. He said they worked on it and played in it for most of the day. I had to tear it down when the baby went to bed because there was no where to sit. But it is easy enough to put back together again so I didn't feel too bad.

Morning routine...

Every morning I get my son up, change him and attempt to give him a bottle. He never eats more than 2 ounces first thing in the morning. I know he will not eat but I give it to him anyway because I am worried that if I wait until later, one morning he will be really hungry and I will be depriving him of food. So I give him a couple of ounces and then try again in another hour or so.

If he gets up early, we play. If he gets up later, I have to start getting ready right away so I drag him into the bathroom with me. He still has some sniffles so I figure the steam of the shower will be good for him anyway. In our living room, he likes to stand on our couch at the window and pull the curtain back so he can peek out. It is one of the cutest things (of many) that he does. Just because I wonder what he thinks as he grasps the fabric and pulls it back. It seems like such and adult thing to do and it makes me smile every time. Anyway, back to the bathroom. He has connected that action with the shower curtain. He will pull it back and look down at the water as it flows down the drain. In the past couple of weeks he has really been drawn to his little books. I read to him every night but he likes to open them and touch the pages by himself. He is pretty loud in the morning and likes to shriek at the top of his lungs. I brought one of his favorite books into the bathroom thinking he would be content to look at it for the 10 minutes I am in the shower. I also give him a lot of his bath toys to play with. He has started to pull the curtain back and drop his toys into the tub, one by one. I pick them up and rinse them off and throw them back out onto a towel that I lay on the floor. It is annoying to me but the best game in the world for him. Today he threw his board book into the shower. I hope it isn't ruined because he loves it so much. I think it might be though because I could tell that the thick pages were starting to separate. I guess bath toys should be the only toys in the bathroom from now on.

Then he continues to play around my feet while I put on my make-up. He plays in the bedroom as I iron my clothes and finish getting ready. I try not to give him up to his father until the last minute as I am walking out the door. I wonder when the time will come that he won't want his mommy to spend so much time with him. Hopefully not for another 12 or 13 years.

I think he has rhythm...

From pretty early on my son liked music. If he heard anything with a beat, he would move his little head. As he got older and was able to sit on his own, he would bop his head along with music. When I first noticed this, I would clap my hands to the music and he would get a silly smile across his face.

Then when he was able to stand up, he would bend his knees and bounce to the music. It seems that he likes the hip-hop and R&B most, probably because of the beat. I have tried other types of music and he won't dance to it. We have several music stations on our cable tv and if I turn one on, he will immediately stop what he is doing and start dancing. It is the funniest and sweetest thing I have ever seen. He will crawl over to some furniture, usually the couch, stand up and start bouncing. He started taking one hand and waving it along with the beat too.+

So far, in the 10-1/2 months that I have known this person that is part me and part my husband, I have learned that he loves electronics, loves music and seems to also love sports. He can throw a ball pretty far in a straight line. I don't know if this is typical of every baby but I am going to try to encourage these interests. All of these traits seem to come from his father. Hopefully he will also inherit my love of books and develop good study habits.

Almost a year...

I cannot believe that it has been almost a year since my son was born. Yesterday he was standing at the front glass door watching the traffic go by. He was shrieking with delight as a boy and his dog walked past the house. The weather was cool and the leaves are starting to fall off the trees. Several leaves flew by in the wind and it looks and feels like Fall.

I was standing behind my little man and was just in awe at the fact that last year at this time he was not even born. I didn't even really know him yet. I knew that he liked to move around at night and that he was filling up my insides leaving me no room to breathe. But I didn't know that his smile would melt my every time. I didn't know that I would feel helpless when he was sick and wish that I could take away the pain and discomfort. I didn't know that he would be so darn cute.

I was also struck by the thought that I couldn't believe I had brought this innocent little person into a cruel hard world. I hate watching the news because nothing good seems to happen. How could I let him grow up in a world of terrorists, drugs, economic instability, violence, etc. All we can do is love our children and give them the tools to deal with the bad and hope that they can bring about the good.

Now my husband wants another baby. We want at least two children and want them to be pretty close in age. I do want another one too but I just feel like I would be robbing my son of love and attention that would go to a new baby. I know that it is different when you have another baby and that your heart expands so you can love both more than you can imagine. Sounds good in theory but it seems impossible. I guess we will just have to wait and see what happens.

Sick again...

We have been really lucky. My son has only been sick once. On Friday night I noticed that he was sneezing. He sneezes at least twice a day so sneezing in itself doesn't worry me. But he did it a few times. He wasn't overly cranky and didn't seem to have any other symptoms of sickness.

We went to bed and he woke up several times in the middle of the night. We have been doing really great with our sleeping habits. He rarely gets up and if he does it is just for a minute or so and then back to bed. But he was crying so hard and seemed to be in such distress that I picked him up. I took him to the rocking chair and just held him until he calmed down. In the back of my mind I was hoping that I hadn't just ruined his sleeping through the night without being picked up. I was just so heartbroken by his sad cries. He eventually calmed down and drifted into a restless sleep. I held him for a long time, wanting him to feel secure. I hadn't connected this with the sneezing and the possibility that he was sick. I put him back in his crib and slept for a few hours. He woke up again around 3am and I was able to get him back to sleep without picking him up.

In the morning he seemed his bright cheerful self but he seemed to be burning up. I took his temperature right away and it was a little high - 99.7 degrees. I called the doctor but they told me that since it was under 100 that I should just give him a little baby tylenol and wait it out.

By now his nose was dripping. Every time he sneezed he had a river of boogies flowing down his nose. Even when he was sneezing, his nose was a faucet. I spent my Saturday wiping snots and sucking them out with his handy dandy boogie puller. I am sure he hated me by the time he went to bed.

The tylenol worked to bring down his fever. I took his temperature several times and it wasn't that high throughout the day. Around 8pm his little head seemed to be radiating heat. I took his temp and it was back up to 99.7. I gave him a little more medicine and gave him a nice cool bath. He loved that bath so I let him play in the water for a long time.

He hadn't been taking his bottle much so I was trying to get more liquid into him. He had a bunch of wet diapers so I wasn't concerned that he was dehydrated, I was just trying to prevent it. I had some pedialyte but he took one sip and refused to open his mouth after that. He took a little formula and then passed out. He didn't even wake up while I changed his diaper. I put him to bed and he didn't wake up until around 6am. I, on the other hand, couldn't sleep at all. I was worried about him and I kept listening for his little noises as he moved in his crib. He woke up cheerful as ever. His temp was back down to normal and he was sniffling but not flowing out of his nose. He napped for about an hour at around 8am. By the time the football game came on I knew he was sleepy. I took him up to my room where he was playing. He was rubbing his eyes so I laid down on the bed with him on my chest and he fell asleep right away. I gently moved him to the bed and cuddled him. I must have fallen asleep too because next thing I knew, it was 2 hours later. He was still fast asleep and I didn't want to move for fear of waking him up. So I stayed where I was, uncomfortable but I didn't care. He slept for another hour and when he woke up, I couldn't move my arm. As the feeling came back into my limbs, I realized that he wasn't sniffling at all. I took his temp and it was still normal.

Hopefully that was the end of it. The weather is starting to turn so I hope it doesn't bring on something else. I am just happy that this happened on the weekend so I could be home with him all day, making sure he was ok.

First steps...

He has been trying to walk for a while. Yesterday he was at my mother's house. I went there after work to pick him and we were visiting for a while. There are always toys scattered in the living room when he is there. My mother's house is otherwise immaculate and the mess seems out of place. I am surprised because she always wants me to let him eat his own food with his fingers, no matter how messy the food it. I tell her that he likes to throw things - one piece in the mouth, the next piece on the floor. But she loves it. It is funny how kids can affect someone's views on cleanliness. Before I had my son, I vowed that I wouldn't be one of those mom's whose house was an obstacle course of toys. Now, if you come to my house, you have to be nimble and flexible to get around everything that is strewn from living room to dining room. He has the run of the house and I don't mind one bit. It is his house too and he is not scared to make himself comfortable.

Anyway, I got to my mother's house and he was happily playing with his little squeaky ducky. He loves ducks. He stood up at a chair and I held out my hands for him to walk to me. Usually he gets down on his knees and crawls. But he let go of the chair and took 3 wobbly steps toward me. He stepped on his little squeaky duck and that threw him completely off balance. If that duck had not been in the way, he probably could have gone a mile. I tried and tried to get him to do it again but by this time he was too excited and I couldn't get him steady enough to go without falling immediately. I have to remind myself that he is only 10-1/2 months old and I have to be patient. It is just too exciting! I am hoping he is walking by his first birthday. I want him to impress everyone by walking into his party.

Terrible mother...

My husband makes me feel like a terrible mother and maybe he is right. My son gets bumps and bruises and falls down all the time when I am watching him. When my husband is home with him, he rarely gets hurt. Don't get me wrong, my son is not getting injured but I let him explore and work things out on his own. When he first learned to crawl, I didn't restrict him. Of course I blocked stairways and closed rooms that are not quite baby proofed. When he started to stand up, I didn't restrict him. He would crawl to a baby gate or to a wall and stand up. He was still pretty wobbly so he would lose his balance and sometimes bump his little head. I was never far but I also didn't hold him up. I wanted him to learn how to stand up and learn how to keep balance.

In the front of my house there is a little step leading to the front door. He went down that step so many times face first. I was right there with him but I let him learn it for himself. One time he fell, not too hard, on his ear. His ear was red afterward and he cried hard. After a minute or so, he was fine and distracted by something else. But my husband thinks that I am terrible for letting him fall. I feel like he learned how to get down that stair and does it so easily and without effort now so that I am not constantly worried that he will crawl over there and really hurt himself. He loves to stand and look out the front door so I hated to block it off. Now he is a pro getting down that step and if I did it for him he wouldn't have learned to do it on his own.

Yesterday we were playing on the floor. I was laying on my back and he was crawling all over me. I pretended like I was coming after him and he would crawl away as fast as he could and look over his shoulder to see if I was hot on his trail. But I would just lay back down and he would hurry back to me to try to get me to come after him. We did this for a while and one time he scooted away and went to the baby gate. He stood up and looked back at me. I pretended to be asleep so he would come back and attack me. Then I heard him shriek and heard the rattle of the baby gate. I jumped up and he was crying hard. He little hand was still holding the gate as he sat on the floor with big tears rolling down his face. I thought he caught his finger or something so I grabbed him and hugged him as I tried to look at his hands. They seemed ok and I was able to calm him down pretty quickly. It was almost bedtime so I sat with him and rocked him a little. I gave him his bedtime bottle and he was back to his normal self. Then I noticed a huge bump by his eye. Apparently he didn't hurt his hand but had bumped his eye. I couldn't figure out what he could have hit his head on but it was probably the wall or something. I put a little ice on it but it didn't seem to be bothering him. My husband got home late and I told him about it. The baby was already asleep so he couldn't see it. He was so mad at me that I let it happen. I argued that it was a freak thing. I can't put him in his pack-n-play all day long and I don't want to hold him back from developing. Bumps and brusies are a part of this age. But then I doubted myself and felt like I should have been able to prevent it. We were playing and I didn't see what happened. I shouldn't have been pretending to sleep. When we woke up this morning, the bump was gone and you couldn't even tell that something had happened. Now I am going to be more cautious and try not to hamper his growth and development.

Tantrums...

How do parents deal with tantrums? My son just started throwing trantrums a month or so ago. I noticed it when I was trying to calm him down to get ready for bed. I sat him on my lap and leaned back so we could cuddle for a while. He arched his back and threw his head back. Luckily I had a good grip on him because I wasn't expecting it and I would have dropped him. He squealed and tried to wriggle free. I couldn't believe it. He had never had any kind of temper and I was shocked that he was acting this way.

The next day he was at my parents house and when I went to pick him up, my mother said he got mad at her and pushed her away when she was trying to feed him. She said he was probably done with his food because he wasn't readily opening his mouth for more but she tried to give him another spoonful just to make sure he was really done. He shook his head no and yelled at her. He pushed the spoon away and got food everywhere.

After that he seemed to do this a lot, whenever he didn't want to do something. I thought there was no way that my kid would behave badly, in private or in public. At first I just didn't deal with it. I wasn't going to give in and give him attention for bad behavior. When he started to throw a fit, I would just put him down and walk away. I had read too often how a child will learn which behaviors get attention and will repeat that behavior. Ignoring him didn't seem to be working. And I read conflicting information that shows that ignoring a child can make them feel insecure about having their needs met and can worsen the situation. There are always two, three, four sides to every argument. I was just trying to find what worked for us.

So then I tried another method. If he started to act up, I would hold him firmly on my lap and tell him no. No struggling, no yelling. Just a firm no. When he was calm, I would let him down. This seems to work best and he throws fewer tantrums. I can't imagine his terrible twos...

Diaper rash...

We have been extremely lucky as far as diaper rash is concerned. My son has never had any signs of it at all. He doesn't mind a wet or dirty diaper and will never cry if he needs to be changed. I am constantly checking him because I hate the thought of him sitting in an uncomfortable diaper but if I left it up to him, he would sit in it all day.

My husband works a couple evenings a week so he drops off my son at my parents house and I go pick him up after work. It is a good arrangement. They get to see their grandson and they usually feed me before I make my way home. Usually they are waiting for me at the door. But this time I walk in the house and my father is standing in the kitchen which is down a long hallway from the front door. I could hear my son crying hard and my dad had a strange look on my face. As I walked toward him, he said "His scrotum is so red." Then he turned and walked back into the living room. If I hadn't been so concerned by the seriousness of his face and voice, I would have thought it was extremely comical. My father is pretty conservative, or at least that is how I see him. Before I had a baby, I would have been mortified if he had used words describing a person's private parts.

I followed him into the living room and my mother was trying to comfort my little boy. I ran to him and hugged him hard. They said that they were just changing a poopy diaper and he was bright red. My mother said that as soon as she started to wipe him he started screaming. But it couldn't be helped, she needed to get him clean. He was finally calm but I wanted to see it for myself. I pulled back his diaper and was appalled by the sight. It was as red as a tomato. I freaked out and wanted to take him to the doctor immediately. Now it was my turn to calm down. My parents put some diaper cream on it and told me to wait and see if it got better. He was eating so many new foods that something probably just irritated him. And he wasn't crying anymore, just seemed perfectly content.

I called my husband and asked him if he had noticed anything that day. He said no but the day before he had noticed some redness. It had gone away by the next diaper change though so he had forgotten to mention it.

We stayed and ate and I took my son home. When my husband got home from work, I showed him the redness. He was more shocked than I had been. He said the redness he had noticed the day before could not even compare to this.

We kept him lubed up with the diaper cream. Usually I don't change his diaper in the middle of the night but that night I checked on him and changed it. I didn't turn on the light but I have a small night light in the corner of the room so I can see what I am doing. It still looked bright red, even in the dark. In the morning I checked and the redness had gone down significantly though it was still pretty bright. And I noticed that it had spread to his little bottom. We changed him often and let him go diaper free when we knew it was safe. By the next day it had gone down even more and was pretty much gone by the day after that.

I know that it was just diaper rash but it was scary. I have been careful not to give him the foods that he ate in the day before and of the rash just in case that was the cause. Luckily it has not reappeared.

Almost walking...

From the first week my son learned to crawl, he was pulling himself up on furniture to stand up. He started crusing along furniture. Slowly at first and then faster and more steady as he gained confidence. He is now 10 months old and has been crawling for almost 4 months. Everyday I expect him to start walking.

With a firm hold on the furniture, he is fine and can go all the way around the room. It is fascinating how a being that never knew how to walk before just instinctively knows how to do it. If you are in an accident or somehow lose function in your legs, it can take months of rehab to learn how to walk again. I never had to teach my son how to walk. He just somehow knows what he is supposed to do. Now we are just waiting for his legs to be strong and steady enough to hold his weight.

I recently bought him a toy that can fold up and has all sorts of bobbles for him to play with. But when unfolded, it has a handle and wheels so he can push it and walk behind. He was very wobbly at first and wouldn't attempt it without me right behind him. Within in the past few weeks he crawls right over to it, stands up and walks across the room with it. When he gets to an obstacle, like a wall or a door. He continues to try to walk. I noticed that he is starting to understand that you can't keep going through a wall and a door. He gets to the other side of the toy and pushes it backwards. It is very cute and I am very proud of his problem solving skills but it is hazardous to push the toy from the front. He has tipped it over a number of times by trying to do this. It is hard because I want to encourage him to find solutions to the problems he faces but I don't want him to get hurt. It is a tough balance.

He also knows how to go up stairs but down only one stair. My front entrance is one step down from the living room. Through trial and error he learned how to get down that one little step and he is pretty good at it. Under my supervision, he started to go head first. Then he realized that if he gets to the edge of the step, he can put his hands out to the lower level and then scoots his little bottom until he can slide his back end over the edge. He needs a lot of room though so it isn't ideal for a flight of stairs. But he does love to go up the stairs. He makes a beeline to the stairs and can go up the entire thing. I of course have to carry him down. He is very sweet. He will go up one stair and then look back at me. I smile and he goes up the next one and looks back. I don't know if he is looking for encouragement, approval or just to make sure I will be there to catch him if he slips. Whatever he is thinking, I love it. Baby gates are a lifesaver. I wouldn't be able to keep him away if I didn't have one in place.

In the past week he has been standing unassisted for longer periods of time. I have tried to get him to take a step when he is standing but he always sits down before coming to me. Last night he did take a couple of small steps before sitting. I just can't wait until he is confident that he can take more steps and he won't fall down. This is all so exciting. Everyone tells me that once he starts walking I will wish that he wasn't. But I don't think that is true. We shall see.

Sleep training part 3...

The first night of sleep training was torture. The second night wasn't as bad and I could see the glimmer of success. The third night started much like the previous two. But this time my son only got up once after I put him in his crib. I was relieved and proud when he stayed down and fell asleep. In the middle of the night he got up a couple of times. I didn't attempt to sleep on the floor this time. I just sat in the rocker so he could still see me but I would have an easier time getting out of the room without making noise. He got back to sleep very quickly and I settled into the chair.

The next thing I knew, I was waking up, stiff as a board in my chair. He was fast asleep and I hobbled back to bed and saw that it was an hour and 40 minutes later. At least he was getting a good night's sleep.

He did wake a couple more times but it was no more than a minute. And I noticed that now he wasn't standing up. If he woke, he would just whine but stay down.

The fourth night, I did the same thing. I fell asleep in that chair for a couple of hours. I literally must fall asleep as soon as I sit down because I don't even remember falling asleep. He slept better still.

The fifth night started out perfect. He went right down in his crib and I was able to get out of his room in a minute. He woke twice that night but this time I waited. When I heard him moving and heard him cry out, I just stayed in my bed listening. In less than a minute he was quiet. He had fallen back to sleep. The second time he woke, it was even less time. I never left my bed. In the morning when he woke up for real, I went into his room and he was standing there, waiting. I scooped him up and gave him big hugs. He seemed to realize that it was time to get up and was distinguishing between when he should stay down and stand up.

It took five nights. Now we have been sleeping through the night for a week. He still wakes up a good 20 minutes before my alarm is set to go off. But I don't mind. I use those minutes to cuddle with him on the couch. I may have been desparate for him to sleep through the night again but I still need my cuddle fix.

Sleep training part 2...

The first night of trying to get my son to sleep through the night again was a nightmare. The second night I decided to try a different tactic. Getting him to sleep was a little better. I again waited until he was very sleepy and then put him in his crib. He popped up as soon as I laid him down. But this time he seemed to know that I wouldn't pick him up. I put him back down and rubbed his belly. He only did this a few times and I was able to get out of his room within a half hour. Much better than the two hours spent the night before.

I couldn't believe how quickly he had learned to go to sleep on his own so I was hopeful that this night would be better. I soon found out that it was different, not necessarily better. Two hours after he went to bed, I heard him stand up and start crying. I went into his room and laid him down. Rubbed his belly and this time he stayed down. I waited until his breathing was steady and I knew he was asleep. I moved away from his crib toward the door but he sensed me leaving and picked his head up. He started to stand up but I went back toward the crib and he stayed down. I had brought a pillow in with me and I laid on the floor. I was too tired to stand there all night but I was determined to make him stay in the crib. He seemed to know that I was still in the room and that comforted him. He was fast asleep within minutes and I was able to go back to my comfy bed.

He did wake a couple more times that night but each time was a little better. He was getting to sleep faster and staying asleep for longer.

I was still tired when I woke up for work. He woke up and I again made a big deal of it being morning and now he could come out of his crib. I was hoping that it wouldn't take much longer. It is funny how you adjust your life to accommodate your child. I would do anything for him, even if means sleeping in two hour spurts and laying on a floor in the middle of the night.

Sleep training...

I never believed in the cry it out method of sleep training. Especially not when my son started standing up in his crib. At first he couldn't sit back down on his own and would cry until we came to get him. But once he was able to sit down, he still just stood there and shook the crib. The first night I tried to break the habit of his waking and me scooping him up and going to sleep with him, it took 2 hours to get him to go to sleep. After that I was exhausted. I went to bed, hoping that he would just stay asleep. I guess that was too much to hope for.

Two hours later he woke and I could hear him stand up in his crib. I waited. He started crying. I waited for about 30 seconds to see what he would do but it didn't sound like he would all of a sudden realize that he should be sleeping and lay back down. I got up and there he was, standing at the rails, waiting for me to pick him up and take him to the couch. He had another thing coming. I laid him down and he threw a fit. I wanted to pick him up but didn't. I rubbed his belly and went through the same motions as when I tried to put him to bed. This lasted a good hour and I was able to finally sneak out and go back to bed.

Two hours later, same thing. This happened all night long. When it was finally time to get up for real, he was standing in his crib. I made a big deal about it being morning and it was time to get up before I picked him up out of his crib. I was so tired and wondered how I would get through another night of this. Then I remembered that he had only recently started sleeping through the night before this hiccup so I had been doing this not too long ago. But at that time he wasn't getting up every 2 hours, just once for a night feeding.

He was so bright and cheerful when I got him up for the day. I was mad at him. Then I felt guilty. I had allowed this to happen. He is just a baby. I couldn't let him know that I was frustrated and tired. I just had to stick to my guns and be consistent.

I went to work and nearly fell asleep at my desk. When I got home, I had a lovely time with my angel. As bedtime grew nearer, I had a pit in my stomach. I got myself mentally together to give it another try...

I just have to do it...

We had not been sleeping through the night for some time now. It was easier for me to pick my son up and comfort him. I always ended up on the couch with him so both of us could get some sleep. Well, I knew it was a bad habit that needed to be broken but I was also pretty sad. I enjoyed the cuddle time with him, especially because I feel guilty every morning for leaving him all day long.

I knew it would be tough, but I started that night. First, I put him to bed before he was fast asleep. I had read that when you put a baby to bed when they are asleep, they can wake up and see that they are no longer in your arms and get scared. Kind of like, where am I? This isn't where I fell asleep. He used to go down when he was sleepy but still awake but hadn't for a long time. So I put him in his crib when he was drowsy. It was almost like the crib gave him an electrical shock. He popped right up, standing at the rails and crying. I wanted to pick him up but knew I shouldn't, that I couldn't. I just picked him up to lay him down. I rubbed his belly for a little while so he knew I was still there. I couldn't believe it but it seemed to be working. When I thought he was asleep, I took my hand away and creeped toward the door. Then up he popped, standing up again. I laid him down and rubbed his belly. We did this for about an hour and a half. I was exhausted, he was exhausted. Finally, I laid him down and sat in the rocker across the room. This way he would still be able to see me and I could say some soothing words.

As soon as I sat down, he popped back up. I laid him down and instead of rubbing his belly, I just sat down. We did this several times and it seemed to backfire because now he thought it was a game. He would stand up, I would get up and walk to the crib and he would scurry away to the corner of the crib and "hide", peeking around to see if I was going to get him. If I wasn't so frustrated, I would have thought it was adorable.

Finally, he was just too tired to fight sleep. I laid him down. He seemed to be thinking about standing up but then decided against it. He was asleep. I breathed a sigh of relief and tried to get out of the room without the floor creaking.

Back to the doctor...

We headed back to the doctor for his 9 month check-up. He had only been to the doctor for sickness once and I was grateful for that. This time he had gained 2 more pounds and 2 inches in length. He was still only in the 5th-10th percentile but he was growing. His doctor also said that because he was so active, he was burning a lot of calories.

I had been really nervous for this appointment because last time she had detected a heart murmur. After she had gone over his chart and started to examine him, I asked about the heart murmur. I was terrified of her response. I just imagined that she would send me to specialists and to have all sorts of tests. But she didn't hear it at all. She listened several times and there was no trace of a murmur. Relief!

Then the discussion turned to his eating. He had been eating a lot more in his bottles and had been eating solids three times a day. She told me that when he turned a year I should start on whole milk. I can't wait for that day to come. In the meantime she told me to start on dairy products - yogurts, cheeses, pudding. She told me to give him the full fat stuff, nothing low fat or low calories. I should start feeding him more table foods too. I was excited.

I told her that he was getting up at night all the time now. And I absolutely started a bad habit. Now that he was standing up in his crib, I would go in there every time and take him out. I would rock him back to sleep and then put him back. He would seem like he was completely out but as soon as I laid him down, he popped right back up. It was frustrating and I would give up and take him to sleep with me on the couch. The problem was that he was expecting this and would give me problems on purpose, knowing that I would scoop him up and take him with me. But I enjoyed it too, the cuddling. And he always slept no problem when I was right next to him. I knew this couldn't go on forever and I would have a fight on my hands to break the habit. But it had to be done. I wasn't getting any sleep.

She told me to let him cry for a while and see if he would sit himself back down in the crib and go to sleep. I don't believe in the cry-it-out method but I had to give it a shot. We would see that night if I had the strength to go through with it.

I've been waiting for these teeth forever...

From the time my son was 3 months old, I swore he was teething. He wasn't much of a drooler but he was always gnawing on his hands. And I thought I saw some bulges on his lower gums. Everyday I got out of the shower and my sweetie would be in his bouncer. I would stick my finger in his mouth and feel around. Nothing. I did this for a good 3-1/2 months. And always nothing.

I was about to give up. In fact, I stopped checking his gums for a few days. I noticed that he had a little cough so I didn't want to bother him by shoving my hands into his mouth. He was a little cranky but I assumed it was from the cough. He turned his head away from solids. He still took a bottle but wanted nothing to do with his baby food. Again, attributed to the cough.

Soon I decided to start checking his gums again and lo and behold, I felt a sharp little corner of something. Do you think he would let me get a good look? It was a fun game. Mommy trying to pull baby's lip down to look at his gums and he would pull it back up and clamp shut. Eventually I was able to see it. It was like a very thin line of white and it had a little texture. He was getting his first tooth! My friend's son was 3 months older and he had teeth since he was four months old. Now we were finally going to be keeping up with the Joneses.

He had the makings of his first tooth and I realized that the little cough, the crankiness, the loss of appetite was probably because he was teething. Then I felt bad because I hadn't done anything to ease the pain. But he got through it. And without a ton of drool. I was expecting buckets but only got a couple dribbles.

I was truly expecting to wake the next morning and find a full grown tooth. But the next morning it was still the thin white line. So maybe it would be the next morning. The next morning showed no growth. Two weeks of next mornings later, it was just a tiny little stub. How long does it really take to grow some teeth. It can't be that hard, right? Little did I know that he would grow a second tooth stub right next to his first one a few weeks later. Then two more stubs on top. Those came in together. He never had any major reaction to any of them and had the same behaviors each time. No drool, little cough, little crab cake, and no solids. To this day (3 months later) they are all still so teeny tiny. I wonder when they will be full grown.

The best part is looking at his silly little grin. His top teeth seem so big compared to the bottom and he looks so goofy. I didn't think I could love making him laugh any more than I already did but it is possible and I do love it more.

I know he wants to...

My son always hated tummy time. I didn't force it on him but I would try to get some in every day. I was worried that he wouldn't learn to crawl because he didn't spend a lot of time on his belly, developing his back muscles, etc.

Then one day, he got up on all fours. I thought for sure that was it. He did this for a couple of days and then he started to rock. He didn't crawl but I know he wanted to.

These days were a little depressing. I knew he would be doing more things, more physical things and I hated the fact that I was at work most of the day. I wanted to be home, encouraging him. I just had to hope that he did everything in the evening or on weekends.

He must have understood because he took his first big leap when I was home. He did it. He put his hands forward. Then instead of falling on his face, which he had done plenty, he moved his legs. He actually moved a couple of inches before he decided that he had enough excitement for one day.

The next day he did it again. Just about the same distance but he did it. The day after that he was more bold and went a couple of feet. After that there was no stopping him. He would get going a little too fast sometimes. It was the cutest thing. His legs would go before his arms and he would get all tangled up and fall on his face. But he always got back up and kept going.

Within three or four days, he couldn't be stopped. He was a crawling machine. By the end of the first week of crawling, he pulled himself up on the couch into a standing position. He was only seven months old so I was sure that it was way too soon to start walking. He seemed perfectly content to stand there. I figured he was just getting his muscles ready for walking.

Within a week he was cruising along furniture. He would walk around the couch and the ottoman. He refused to let me hold his hands to walk though. He wasn't quite ready for that.

One thing that I noticed now though was that he was waking in the middle of the night again. He had been sleeping perfectly since I changed how he was eating. And if he did wake, I would hear him and then he would just go back to sleep right away. There was no need to even get up. But now he was waking and practicing his new skill. I would go in and find him standing up in his crib. The problem was that he had not perfected the sitting down part. So he would just be stuck there in a standing position. One time I went in and he fell forward and hit his face on the bars. Now I felt obligated to go to him in the middle of the night so he didn't hurt himself. I tried working with him to get him to sit down but he didn't get it. I felt like he had regressed to a two-month old, as far as night waking was concerned. Here we go again!

Six month check up...

I couldn't believe it when it was already time for his six month check-up. Other than those 2 weeks of him being sick, my son was very healthy. We had only been to the doctor for his well checks.

I LOVE his pediatrician. She is young but she is a mom and she is great with him. He loves her too. He was weighed and was only 14lbs 4oz and 25 inches long. He fell on his curve. He was now in the 5th percentile. I was concerned. But the pediatrician said that since he was gaining weight that he was probably fine. She asked what I was feeding him. To this point he was getting lots of fruits and veggies. But he was only taking 22-24oz of formula per day. I would feed him a bottle with his solids and a couple other times throughout the day. He wouldn't take any more than 4oz at a time and most times it was way less than that. It was a struggle to get him to take his bottle. By now I had gotten his bedtime to about 8 or 8:30 which was a real improvement over the 11pm bedtime he had since he was a newborn. I had been giving him a bottle at around 11:30 before I went to bed because he would take a full 4oz and sometimes even 6oz when he was half asleep. I thought that getting him the formula was more important than letting him sleep. He was still getting up about 3am for another bottle. My friends' babies were sleeping through the night and I was so jealous. But those babies were also much bigger so I figured my little guy still needed the nutrients.

The pediatrician said to stop waking him to feed. She said it was interrupting his sleep. If I let him go through the night, then he would probably take a bigger bottel in the morning. She also said to stop giving him a bottle and solids in the same feeding. She said that was great practice for meals when he is off the bottle but more important now to get him to take more formula. She said a bottle in the morning, solids a couple hours later, bottle a couple of hours after that, solids, then bottle, solids, then bedtime bottle. The solids in between bottles could stretch the amount of time before he was hungry again so he might take more ounces at the next feeding.

I tried it that night. I put him to bed and at 11:30 I went to bed without waking him. I woke at about 5:30am and realized I had not heard him get up at all. I was sick with fear. Was something wrong? I jumped out of bed and creeped into his room. There he was, sleeping soundly, like an angel. I snuck back to bed and fell asleep for another hour before my alarm went off. He still hadn't woken up. I took the monitor into the bathroom with me and as I was getting out of the shower, I heard him stirring. I ran upstairs and scooped him up. He was bright and happy. I decided to try a 6oz bottle. He sucked the whole thing down. So I added 2 more ounces and he finished it. I added another 2 but he was finally done. I couldn't believe. The first night of following the doctor's advice and he had slept through the night and taken a full 8oz in one sitting. There was no looking back after that. He started to take four 8oz bottles a day. Sure there were times when he only took 6oz or less but on average he was up to 28oz per day, sometimes the whole 32oz. It was a miracle.

Back to the doctor appointment. So I was a little embarrassed that I had been feeding him incorrectly but was anxious to try it. After talking about his progress and milestones, the doctor did the examination. She listened to his heart. Then she listened again. I could tell by the furrow in her brow that something wasn't right. She said she heard a heart murmur. There was some irregularity in his heartbeat. My heart stopped. I told her that both my parents had heart murmurs and asked if it was genetic. She said it could be but it could also indicate a structural problem with the heart that could correct itself or could require surgery. The thought of my son having to have heart surgery was crushing. At this point she wasn't concerned but would like to keep an eye on it.

He had his vaccinations as well. He screamed and cried. The past two times he was fine afterwards, no fever, no irritability. I expected the same this time.

I got home and felt like all of the air had been let out of me. I was scared and worried about his heart murmur. My husband hadn't been at the appointment so when I told him about it, I broke down. I hate when doctors tell you something so frightening and then tell you not to worry. Now I had to wait until his 9-month checkup to see if it had worsened. And this time he did get a fever. I had such good luck with his health and now I felt like everything was crashing down around me. But at this point, there was nothing I could do. I just had to wait and hope for the best. I hate waiting!

He is growing up too fast...

My son was still a little peanut. Very small. But he was gaining weight which was good. Even though he was still tiny, he was growing up so fast. Everyone told me to cherich these moments because they go by so quickly. I just didn't know I would be so sad about it.

One day I realized that I had to get a new supply of clothes the next size up stocked in his dresser. I went through all of his things that were too small and washed them and stored them in bins. I was beside myself. Each little outfit made me remember something about him. This was his going home outfit when I brought him home from the hospital. This was his first Thanksgiving Day outfit. This is what he wore on his first Christmas. And with each little outfit packed away, a little piece of his childhood was packed away. And some of the things were just so darn cute that I hated the fact that he would never be able to wear them again. I hoped that the next switch of clothing wouldn't be this hard.

His bouncer had been a godsend. He loved being in it and it allowed me to take him with me everywhere in the house. I would put him in his bouncer on the bathroom floor while I showered and got ready in the mornings. He sat in his bouncer on the kitchen floor while I did dishes or got dinner ready. One day I had him in his bouncer in the living room floor while I was doing something in the other room. I checked on him frequently and he was fine. The next time I checked on him, the chair had tipped forward and he was face down on the floor, still strapped in his bouncer. I freaked out. I ran to him and was flooded with guilt. What a bad mother I was. How could I leave him alone in a room, even for five minutes? He was fine. No injuries and he didn't even seem to be phased. After I calmed down, I tried to figure out what happened. Later that day, I put him back in the chair and watched him. Nothing happened. Ok, so it was a fluke. I continued to use the chair under supervision and one day I saw it. He had started to sit up on his own and roll over. It looked like he was trying to do it while sitting in the chair. The momentum from his gymnastics was so great that it tipped the chair. I couldn't believe it. He was barely five months old and he had already outgrown his favorite bouncy chair. I couldn't use it anymore. He was no longer safe in it. I took off the cover and washed it. When I put the bouncer away, never to be used again, I cried. It was silly but I felt like he would be leaving for college tomorrow.

Don't get me wrong, growing up is good and I was happy. But it was bittersweet all the same.

Meeting milestones...

Smiling and Babbling: My son was a smiling, babbling fool. He would smile a lot but I still hadn't been able to recreate the belly laugh that made me laugh so hard. He was saying dada a lot, though he didn't associate my husband with dada. Everything was dada. He would sit for a long time just repeating the same sounds over and over and over and over again. Baba entered his vocabulary as well as mama. But again, he wasn't using these "words" for anything specific. He loved to smile at the dogs. I would bring him into the kitchen with me in his bouncer and put it on the floor. While I was doing dishes or making dinner, he would watch me. He would also watch the dogs and would smile every time they came near him. Everything they did amused him. When they ate, when they played, when they barked. I have had the opportunity to bring him around other people's dogs and he is never scared. He always smiles and sometimes shrieks with happiness.

Rolling Over: Just a couple of days before his four month check-up, he rolled over on his own. He had been trying for weeks. He would lay on his back and swing his legs to the side. He would push and try but could never quite get his body all the way over. Eventually he got his legs but then his arm would be caught underneath him and he couldn't make it all the way. Then one day my husband and I were watching this massive struggle. I wanted to help him but my husband held me back. Let him do it on his own. And then it happened. He just did it. I was so excited, clapping and cheering. Once on his belly, he didn't know what to do. I put him back on his back to see if he would do it again. He tried a couple of times but he was done for the day. A couple of days later he was a rolling expert. Whenever he was on his back, he flipped over. He tried to go back the other way and succeeded sometimes but usually by accident. From that time on, he never slept on his back again. I put him to bed on his back and he always ended up on his belly. The risk of SIDS goes way down once they can roll over on their own so I let him be.

Crawling: He hated tummy time. When he first learned to roll over he would get so mad that he was on his tummy. But I made him do it for a couple minutes per day. He wasn't ready for crawling yet but he was still too young. I would give him time on this one.

Sitting Up: He was able to sit pretty well with support. One day just after turning 5 months old, I propped him up with some pillows on the floor. He sat there playing for a while. Then I moved the pillows very carefully and he stayed where he was. He didn't fall backwards, though I was close by in case he did. Slowly he leaned forward until he folded up like a book. I guess falling forward was better than falling backwards. Soon he was sitting on his own and I was no longer worried about him falling backwards. I couldn't wait for this moment to get here and now here he was. A big boy.

I couldn't wait for him to crawl, walk, hold his own bottle, talk. There were so many milestones that I was anxious to happen but I was happy to bask in the glow of being a proud mama.

My little sidekick...

Since I was working and away from home for the better part of the day, I hated to be away from my son any other time. My husband started to get frustrated because he would be home all day with the baby, I would come home and he would want to drop him off at my mother's so we could go eat or go to the movies. Meanwhile my heart would break because I knew I had to give in sometimes and I hated not being able to spend time with him. But I had to realize that he had been cooped up in the house all day and I had to pay attention to our relationship.

I still wasn't able to let him stay overnight at my mother's house though. For one thing he wasn't sleeping through the night and I didn't want to subject my parents to the night waking. For another thing I wasn't ready. My husband wanted time alone but I told him that when the baby went to bed, that was our time alone. It was very hard to balance.

We do take our little one with us pretty much everywhere we go. That is fine with me. My husband is a coach for a local school team. I took the baby with me to their games. He was always so good. Never cried. Seemed to pay attention to what was going on. And he was even able to fall asleep amidst all of the noise. I took him to the first game and was very concerned about the noise. There were loud whistles and buzzers, not to mention the crowd cheering. I asked his pediatrician about it because I was worried that I damaged his little ear drums. She told me that a baby's ears are no more suseptible to damage than an adult's ear. So treat them the same way I would treat my own ears. If I would wear ear plugs, the baby should wear ear plugs. She didn't think a basketball game was going to do any harm but she wouldn't recommend taking him to a concert. We became regulars at his games and my son was always a hit.

We took him to restaurants, the grocery store, on picnics in the park, to friends and relatives houses. He was an expert at getting into and out of the car seat. He was still very small but he was getting heavier. I figured it was good exercise for me to lug him around all the time. And I figured it wasn't a bad thing to get him used to being in public. Never too young to teach good behavior when out and about. I always dread the day when he has a meltdown in public but it hasn't happened yet, knock on wood!

Please do it again...

Life with a 4 month old is fun. They change so quickly and even the littlest things are momentous occassions. This was how I felt the first time my son laughed. He had been smiling and cooing for a couple of months. And let me tell you how good it feels when your child smiles (intentionally, not gas-induced) for the first time. That in itself is reward for labor and delivery.

One day I was at my computer. I don't typically hold my son while I am working but on this day I had to get something done and he was being especially cuddly. So there were were in front of the monitor. He seemed to follow what was on the screen but eventually became bored. I could tell by his body language that he was done being patient. My dogs had been in and out of the room. He was very familiar with the dogs by now and they were familiar with him. They are huge lickers though so I had my hands full keeping them from licking him like a human ice cream cone. But on this occassion I wasn't really paying attention to them. I knew they couldn't get to his face or his hands so I just ignored them.

All of a sudden I heard this noise coming from my son. At first I thought he was crying and I panicked. Within a couple of seconds I realized that he wasn't crying. He was laughing. And this was an intense belly laugh that shook his whole body. I don't think I have ever laughed so hard. It was the best sound I had ever heard. And it wouldn't stop. He just kept laughing and laughing and laughing. One of the dogs had been licking at his little toes and either it tickled or felt funny or was just amusing. When the dog became distracted and left the room, he stopped laughing.

Do you think I could get him to do it again? I tried getting the dog to lick his toes again. That wasn't a problem. But now it wasn't so ticklish and wasn't so funny so I couldn't get the same reaction out of him. I must have tried everything. I think I hurt myself in the process, just trying to make silly movements and motions. Nothing.

I tried everyday but I never got that same laugh out of him. Not again for a couple of months. He continued to smile and coo but he made me work for that laugh. Maybe he was just messing with my head - let's see what mommy will do and how far she will go. But I don't think so. He was just waiting for the perfect reason to laugh again.

Homemade baby food...

So now that I had the ok to start on solids, I tried rice cereal. My son HATED it. He cried and screamed and shook his head. I had been giving him a little formula on a spoon prior to this so he would be used to the spoon in his mouth so I didn't think the spoon was the problem. Maybe he just wasnt' ready. How disappointing.

So I waited a week and tried again. Same reaction. I thought I would try the baby oatmeal cereal. Maybe he just didn't like the rice cereal. Same reaction. I tried everything. I made it really thin and also tried different levels of consistency. He just didn't want it at all. I was going to wait another week but the I decided to try applesauce. I had some natural, no sugar added applesauce at home so I spooned some into a little dish and crossed my fingers. I gave him a little taste and he made the most awful face. But he didn't cry. And he opened his mouth for more when I offered it. It must have been a little tart for someone who has only ever tasted formula but he was eating it. I was also concerned about his tongue reflex which would make him push food out and not swallow it. But he didn't seem to have a problem. Yeah!

I went to the grocery store the next day. I was going to try the applesauce for a few days to make sure he didn't have an allergic reaction but I anxious to see what else I could get for him. I stared at all of the little jars and a thought struck me. Why couldn't I just make my own baby food? I didn't buy any jars and got on the computer as soon as I got home. I researched how to make your own baby food and it seemed simple enough.

Now, I am no cook. I would gladly eat cereal for dinner every night or just throw some spaghetti into a pot. So I was a little nervous about the idea of cooking baby food. All I had to do was cook fresh or frozen fruits and veggies and blend them up into a puree. Then I would pour the puree into ice cube trays and freeze it. Easy, right?

I went back to the store and bought some squash. It was in the produce section, already cut up into chunks. I cooked it, threw it into the blender and it came out as a smooth puree. It was bright and had nice color. If I compared it to the little jars, I wouldn't even have to hesitate about which one I would feed him. It froze well too. I was so proud of myself. So proud.

When it was time to feed him the squash after a few days of apples, I pulled a cube out of the freezer, heated it up and fed it to him. He absolutely loved it. He didn't make a face. He just opened his mouth for more. He finished the whole cube.

After that I made green beans, peas, pears, peaches, zuchhini, sweet potato, bananas, blueberries, mixed fruits, mixed veggies. I was a baby food making machine. And it really only took about a 1/2 hour a week to make many servings. At first I didn't think it was saving me much money but a bag of frozen vegetables costs $0.89 and made between 6 and 12 servings, depending on what it was. To buy 6-12 servings in jars would have cost between $2.70 and $5.40 at least. So it really was a savings.

And that was it. I vowed that I wouldn't buy the little jars unless absoutely necessary. However, I would have to rethink that when he started meats. I didn't like the idea of having to blend up boiled chicken or beef. Ewww.

Solids already...

At my son's four month check up, he had fallen on his weight and height curves. He had been in the 25th percentile for both at his two month check up. I had a hard time feeding him and he was not taking any more than 4oz per bottle. Sometimes less. He was only eating about 20-22oz per day. He had also lost a bit of weight when he was sick and couldn't really eat.

He was also not sleeping through the night. All of my friends' babies slept through the night by now. My friend had a baby 3 months before I did and her son had been sleeping through the night, as in 12 hours a night, since he was 2 months old. I was extremely jealous of that. But the night feedings were fairly simple. He would wake up and eat and immediately go back to sleep. So I my sleep was interrupted but it wasn't like I was up forever with him. The doctor said this was normal and that because he was sleeping 5 hours straight, it was considered sleeping through the night.

He got his 4 month shots. With all of the information about autism and the links to vaccinations, I was very nervous about the shots. But he had to have them. So they were done. It went pretty much how it did at his 2 month appointment. He took the liquid vaccination well. He took a while to acknowledge the first shot. When he realized that it hurt, he let out a blood curdling scream. While he was crying, the nurse did the other shot. He cried for just a few minutes and then he was done.

The exciting part of this visit was that the doctor told me to start solids. I couldn't wait. She said he had good head control. They look for this before recommending solids because the baby has to be able to turn his head away when he didn't want anymore food. He could also sit well with support. He was ready. She told me the standard advice. Start with cereal. Use that for several days until I was sure there was no reaction. Then start on fruits and veggies, always waiting a few days in between a new food to check for allergies.

On our way home I stopped at the store and bought a box of baby cereal. I was going to try it in the morning. I could barely sleep. It was almost like Christmas Eve and I couldn't wait to wake up to open presents. Babies are fun.

Is he sick...

So life with baby for the first couple of months was great. It was a huge adjustment but we were getting along just fine. I was now back to work and I have to admit that I kind of liked it. Don't get me wrong, I wish I could stay home with my son or even just work part time so I could spend more time with him but there is something good about getting out of the house everyday to be in the company of other adults. It is hard to be home alone with a baby all day. I feel for my husband. It has been difficult though because by the time I get home from work, I am tired and just want to relax and play with him. But my husband has been in the house all day and wants to go out and do something. It is hard to balance both of our needs as parents.

Anyway, the baby had been healthy and happy, reaching his 2 month milestones. Then one day he was at my parents house and I heard what I thought was a scratchy throat when he was babbling. My parents thought he sounded fine but I was his mother and I could tell there was something not right with his voice. I let it go and he seemed fine.

The next morning, he was sniffling, sneezing and coughing. He sounded horrible. I knew he was sick but I didn't want to raise the alarm just yet. It was a Friday. I sucked his little boogies out of his nose. He let me me use the booger puller at first without a fuss. But then he was on to me and everytime I came near him with it, he struggled and screamed. I was persistant though because he couldn't breathe. I also started using saline drops/spray. It loosened everything up and I was able to get more when I went in for the suction. It never lasted long though and I felt like I was constantly digging in his poor little nose.

And his chest was rattling with the mucus. I felt so bad for him. I gave him his bottles very cold to soothe his throat and I bought some baby VICKS and rubbed that on his chest and feet. I put a cool mist humidifier in his room at night. And that was really all I could do.

On Saturday morning, I was started to become alarmed. He was so young and his chest and breathing sounded so bad. I had read somewhere that if they take more than a certain number of breaths in a minute that means they are struggling to breathe. I called the doctor and they were having Saturday hours. I had to wait a few hours and I was almost to the point of panic. I wanted to bring him to the emergency room. But I also didn't want to overreact.

When I finally got in to see the doctor, they checked him over. His ears were fine. And she said he didn't have anything in his lungs. I was so relieved. She said it just sounded bad but there was nothing to worry about. The only thing I could do was to wait it out and keep doing what I was doing.

He wasn't eating very much so I was concerned about dehydration. He never did get much of a fever and he always had wet diapers so he was ok. But he was just so pitiful. I could tell he was very uncomfortable and there was nothing I could do for him.

Two long weeks later, he got better. He made it and we made it through his first illness. Now I would be better prepared for the next one. Hopefully it won't be for a long time.