Rough night...

I think I may have ruined my long nights of sleep training in one night. My son would not go to bed last night. I know he was exhausted. He started rubbing his eyes at around 7pm. But he wouldn't settle down either. I tried to get him to calm down but he was perfectly content to run around all over the place. He finally let me hold him still and rock him a bit. I put him to bed at around 9:30pm. It was around 1am when he started crying. Usually he just cries out in his sleep or whines a little and falls back asleep quickly. But this crying was different. I had only heard a cry like this once before a few months ago. It was like he was pleading for someone to come to him. It was so sad and heartbreaking.

So I went to him. I rubbed his back but he was inconsolable. I didn't want to pick him up because I was afraid that would set me back after all the work we put into getting him to sleep through the night again. But he was not comforted by it. So I picked him up against my better judgement. I picked him up because my heart told me it was necessary. He was distressed and he needed his mommy. I picked him up and he stopped crying. He had big, fat tears rolling down his face and he was having trouble catching his breath. I held him and cradled him. I put my cheek against his cheek and he drifted back to sleep, safe in my arms. I held him for a while to be sure he was asleep before attempting to get him back in his crib. The second I put him down, the sobbing started again.

I went and got my husband. Sometimes he has better luck getting him to sleep and to stay sleeping. He wouldn't go down for him either. He asked if I wanted him to bring him into bed with us. We did this once before as well but it was a nightmare. No one got any sleep. But he was a little older now so I thought we would give it a try.

That was a mistake. He was so excited by the change in his surroundings that he just wanted to stand up and walk all over the bed. It was like he was wide awake and it was time to get up and play. My husband took him back to his room to get him sleepy by sitting with him in our rocker and then brought him back. He settled right down but he is a tosser and a turner. At one point he slammed his rock-hard head into my nose. It hurt but I was ok. Not 2 minutes later he did the same thing to my mouth. I instantly tasted blood. He busted my lip wide open. I was more concerned about him though because it must have hurt him. He started crying a "I'm hurt" cry.

I should have just put him back in his crib and rubbed his back until he stopped crying. That didn't seem to be working but I should have stuck to my rules. Instead we had picked him up, taken him to sleep with us. Ultimately I took him to the couch and we slept, cuddling. I am dreading tonight because I am sure I undid all of our work. We will see.