I just have to do it...

We had not been sleeping through the night for some time now. It was easier for me to pick my son up and comfort him. I always ended up on the couch with him so both of us could get some sleep. Well, I knew it was a bad habit that needed to be broken but I was also pretty sad. I enjoyed the cuddle time with him, especially because I feel guilty every morning for leaving him all day long.

I knew it would be tough, but I started that night. First, I put him to bed before he was fast asleep. I had read that when you put a baby to bed when they are asleep, they can wake up and see that they are no longer in your arms and get scared. Kind of like, where am I? This isn't where I fell asleep. He used to go down when he was sleepy but still awake but hadn't for a long time. So I put him in his crib when he was drowsy. It was almost like the crib gave him an electrical shock. He popped right up, standing at the rails and crying. I wanted to pick him up but knew I shouldn't, that I couldn't. I just picked him up to lay him down. I rubbed his belly for a little while so he knew I was still there. I couldn't believe it but it seemed to be working. When I thought he was asleep, I took my hand away and creeped toward the door. Then up he popped, standing up again. I laid him down and rubbed his belly. We did this for about an hour and a half. I was exhausted, he was exhausted. Finally, I laid him down and sat in the rocker across the room. This way he would still be able to see me and I could say some soothing words.

As soon as I sat down, he popped back up. I laid him down and instead of rubbing his belly, I just sat down. We did this several times and it seemed to backfire because now he thought it was a game. He would stand up, I would get up and walk to the crib and he would scurry away to the corner of the crib and "hide", peeking around to see if I was going to get him. If I wasn't so frustrated, I would have thought it was adorable.

Finally, he was just too tired to fight sleep. I laid him down. He seemed to be thinking about standing up but then decided against it. He was asleep. I breathed a sigh of relief and tried to get out of the room without the floor creaking.