Tantrums...

How do parents deal with tantrums? My son just started throwing trantrums a month or so ago. I noticed it when I was trying to calm him down to get ready for bed. I sat him on my lap and leaned back so we could cuddle for a while. He arched his back and threw his head back. Luckily I had a good grip on him because I wasn't expecting it and I would have dropped him. He squealed and tried to wriggle free. I couldn't believe it. He had never had any kind of temper and I was shocked that he was acting this way.

The next day he was at my parents house and when I went to pick him up, my mother said he got mad at her and pushed her away when she was trying to feed him. She said he was probably done with his food because he wasn't readily opening his mouth for more but she tried to give him another spoonful just to make sure he was really done. He shook his head no and yelled at her. He pushed the spoon away and got food everywhere.

After that he seemed to do this a lot, whenever he didn't want to do something. I thought there was no way that my kid would behave badly, in private or in public. At first I just didn't deal with it. I wasn't going to give in and give him attention for bad behavior. When he started to throw a fit, I would just put him down and walk away. I had read too often how a child will learn which behaviors get attention and will repeat that behavior. Ignoring him didn't seem to be working. And I read conflicting information that shows that ignoring a child can make them feel insecure about having their needs met and can worsen the situation. There are always two, three, four sides to every argument. I was just trying to find what worked for us.

So then I tried another method. If he started to act up, I would hold him firmly on my lap and tell him no. No struggling, no yelling. Just a firm no. When he was calm, I would let him down. This seems to work best and he throws fewer tantrums. I can't imagine his terrible twos...