Baby's first wedding part 2...

So my best friend's wedding was on Friday. The rehearsal and rehearsal dinner was the night before. Spouses and children were invited for the rehearsal. I had told my husband about it weeks ago and asked if he wanted to go. I know he doesn't usually like to go to things like that so I gave him every opportunity to say no. I must have asked him a dozen times. Each time he say he would go. Thursday morning he tells me he isn't going. I told him he had to go now because I included him in the count. I told him that they have to pay for the number of people they told the banquet hall would be attending and it was rude for him to not go. He said it was a buffet and he was sure there wouldn't be any food going to waste. I really couldn't believe that he wasn't understanding. It isn't the food, it is the fact that they have to pay for the people, even if they don't go because that is what the place would charge. He thought I was wasn't really mad but I was furious. He kept saying, "I know you aren't really mad". He must have realized it pretty quickly though because after he worked 1/2 day, he called and said he would go. Either that or he was hungry and knew I wouldn't be making anything that night. So we went, the three of us. The rehearsal was your normal rehearsal, nothing spectacular. But the dinner was excellent. The food was great. The company was even better. I had a great time and thought that if the rehearsal was any indication of how the wedding would be, then we were going to havea really good time the next day. Even my son seemed to enjoy himself, being passed along to everyone and getting a ton of attention.

The next day was the wedding. The girls would be getting ready at a hotel suite and I was supposed to be there at 10am. My husband didn't get out of work early and I ended up getting there at Noon. I was so panicked about being able to get ready in time that I threw some curlers in my hair while I was still home, even though my friend had hired to people to do hair at the hotel. It looked ridiculous. But I got there in plenty of time to get my hair done. Crisis averted. The limo wasn't picking us up until 4pm so I was a ball of nerves. My friend seemed calm and collected but my foot would not stop shaking. Maybe it was because I was nervous for the event but probably because our dresses were not there yet and there was a bridesmaid who was misssing in action. There is a whole drama about the dresses. She picked them out almost 2 years ago and they were ordered. Her colors were black and red. Her sister had an all black dress, I had an all red dress and the rest of the wedding party had dresses that were either black on top and red on the bottom or vice versa. When my dress came in months ago, it wasn't the right color. It was red but not the right red. So unbenounced to me, my friend ordered the same style as the other girls but in all red. It finally came in about 4 weeks before the wedding. I went in to try it on, nervous because when I was measured initally I was 3 months pregnant. So I had no idea if the thing would fit. It fit like a glove. But I am tiny so it was about 5 feet too long. All she needed to do was hem it. She wasn't done with any of the dresses the week before the wedding and promised that she would deliver them to the hotel at 1pm. Well, at 2pm I started to panick but I didn't want the bride to get upset, so I just kept it to myself. They finally showed up close to 4pm, just before the limo got there. And they looked perfect. The pictures were fabulous, the ceremony was beautiful and the reception was so much fun. It was the best wedding I had ever been too.

My son was there with my husband and parents. He seemed to enjoy himself too. There was a tiny little girl in a pink dress there too and they seemed to hit it off. They took turns shrieking in each others faces. It was adorable. But the he started to get sleepy so my parents took him home. He didn't even get to stay for the music. I was dying to see if he would dance but it was not meant to be. My parents took him home with them and it was his first night away from home. When we got home, the house seemed strangely empty and I missed him. I didn't even sleep in. I was up by 6:15am which is about the time he usually gets me up. I went to my parents house and they fed us breakfast. He did great overnight. My husband thinks that is invitation to have him stay there all the time. But I disagree. We shall see. Overall, baby's first wedding was an overwhelming success.

Baby's first wedding...

So my best friend is getting married on Friday. We have been planning this wedding for almost 2 years and I can't believe it is finally here. I think I am more nervous than she is, maybe because I have to give a speech. I hate public speaking, especially into a microphone. And I am not a super emotional person - I don't cry at movies or weddings. I have a feeling that I will cry while I am talking because of the nerves and maybe I will be emotional. I find that I am more emotional now that I have had a baby than I was before. I wrote out the speech and just reading it is fine but when I rehearse it in my head, I get the throat burn and teary eyes.

We had initially thought my husband's parents would watch the baby but then we decided that he would come with us. I don't necessarily want a baby at a wedding but my parents will be there so they can help watch him. Plus he is practically her nephew so I would think that she would want him there.

A couple of weeks ago we were trying to get the rest of the responses by phone for those people that didn't send back their response cards. One of her cousins said that he was bringing his 3 children. She was upset about it and made comments about it being and adult reception and she couldn't believe they would bring their kids uninvited. I was nervous to ask about bringing baby.

Then yesterday she said that I should just bring him. I hadn't said anything but she just brought it up. Now I feel much better and I have to go get him a suit. He is going to look so adorable. I am excited about his first wedding, especially because he likes to dance. I am concerned with how loud the music will be but my parents offered to take him home with them and he can stay the night at their house. It will also be his first night sleeping away from home. I have been putting that off for almost a year now so I should be ok by now. I was just hoping he would be sleeping through the night so my parents won't refuse overnight visits in the future. Hopefully everything will be fine.

What is he thinking...

Do you ever wonder what could possibly be going through your child's mind? I marvel every day at my son. I can just see the neurons firing off and connections being made in his brain. First it started when he was able to put food in his mouth on his own. I bought Gerber Puffs when he was about 9 months old. He was pretty quick to learn how to pick them up and bring them to his mouth. Most babies that I know also put everything else in their mouths when they learn this skill. I am surprised that my son doesn't. He rarely puts things in his mouth, even when he is teething. I think I saw him pick up a stray piece of paper from the floor and put it in his mouth once. I rushed to him yelling NO NO NO NO. But I was too late and had to pry his mouth open to get it out. Since that time I haven't seen him even try to eat anything unless it is really food. I guess I have seen him try to eat dog food but I catch him in the act. So how does he know what is food and what isn't without putting it in his mouth? I wonder what he is thinking.

I am also amazed at his verbal skills. His babbling has definitely evolved. He now carries on conversations in some language that he understands. I answer back to him pretending I know what he is saying. Yesterday we went to my parents house to visit and watch football. He just talked non-stop to anyone who would listen, including his toys. He LOVES the phone and goes crazy whenever it rings. When I am home and try to get him to listen to the person at the other end of the line, he is more interested in grabbing the phone and playing with it. Yesterday while we were there, my father called his mother - my son's great-grandmother. She lives all the way across the country and has never seen my son in person. My father held the phone to my son's ear and he listened intently, never even tried to grab the phone. He would say words (i.e. deedee dada, bubba, etc). It was as if was mesmerized by her voice. Then I realized she was probably speaking Spanish to him (her and my father's first language). He was probably listening to a language he has never heard before and was fascinated. I wonder what he was thinking.

And most amazing of all is his ability to try to resolve something. The other day I was watching him and he was playing with a toy. I don't know what toy it was but it was like a long, skinny tube. My end tables in my living room have vertical wooden slats, about an inch apart. He put the toy through one of the opening and it rested there in the bottom shelf of the table. So he could see if through the opening but it didn't fall all the way to the ground. For the next 15 minutes he tried to get that toy. He was very patient, never getting frustrated. He tried to get his little fingers through, he tried to get his whole hand through. He looked at it at different angles. Then I saw him tear his gaze away from the toy and look all around him as if he thought it might have gotten out on its own. Then he saw another toy, skinny enough to fit through the opening. He got that toy and was using it as a tool to get the other one out. I couldn't believe that he realized that using another object could help him get something out of its hiding place. It didn't work but I was proud of his effort. I wonder what he was thinking.

Why buy toys when you have a cardboard box...

My son is tiny so we didn't have to switch from the infant car seat basket for quite a while. We have a larger car seat that is convertible from infant to who knows how old. It has been in its box sitting in my coat closet since my shower. We broke it out a couple of weeks ago and had a nice big box left over. My husband wanted to cut it up and put it out with the recycling bin but I insisted that we keep it. I wanted to make a little fort out of it for my son.

The other day I got home from work and there was the fort in the middle of my living room. My husband had cut out windows and poked a bunch of holes in the top. With string he hung toys on the inside. If you picture the box on its side, the actual top of the box is the entrance and the ceiling is one of the sides. He LOVED it. I am sure I could have left him alone to run to the store and he would have still be playing in when I got back. He loved the toys hanging down. He loved to drop things out of the window. He loved to crawl into it and back out, over and over again. I didn't really leave him to go to the store but I did pick up my book and was able to read it while keeping an eye on him out of the corner of my eye.

I thought the fort was the best thing in the world. But I was wrong, there was something better. Last night I came home and my living room had a whole tunnel system leading to the fort. Using the couch and ottoman as barriers, my husband draped blankets and the room became a maze. He told me to crawl through it. I crawled down one end and had to make a left turn. When I turned, I could see the fort was all lit up. He had taken the music/light box that came with our pack-n-play and rigged it through the window. I wish that I had something like that when I was little. I had cardboard houses but nothing like this. My son followed me in and we played until I became clausterphobic.

I couldn't believe my husband was so creative. He said they worked on it and played in it for most of the day. I had to tear it down when the baby went to bed because there was no where to sit. But it is easy enough to put back together again so I didn't feel too bad.

Morning routine...

Every morning I get my son up, change him and attempt to give him a bottle. He never eats more than 2 ounces first thing in the morning. I know he will not eat but I give it to him anyway because I am worried that if I wait until later, one morning he will be really hungry and I will be depriving him of food. So I give him a couple of ounces and then try again in another hour or so.

If he gets up early, we play. If he gets up later, I have to start getting ready right away so I drag him into the bathroom with me. He still has some sniffles so I figure the steam of the shower will be good for him anyway. In our living room, he likes to stand on our couch at the window and pull the curtain back so he can peek out. It is one of the cutest things (of many) that he does. Just because I wonder what he thinks as he grasps the fabric and pulls it back. It seems like such and adult thing to do and it makes me smile every time. Anyway, back to the bathroom. He has connected that action with the shower curtain. He will pull it back and look down at the water as it flows down the drain. In the past couple of weeks he has really been drawn to his little books. I read to him every night but he likes to open them and touch the pages by himself. He is pretty loud in the morning and likes to shriek at the top of his lungs. I brought one of his favorite books into the bathroom thinking he would be content to look at it for the 10 minutes I am in the shower. I also give him a lot of his bath toys to play with. He has started to pull the curtain back and drop his toys into the tub, one by one. I pick them up and rinse them off and throw them back out onto a towel that I lay on the floor. It is annoying to me but the best game in the world for him. Today he threw his board book into the shower. I hope it isn't ruined because he loves it so much. I think it might be though because I could tell that the thick pages were starting to separate. I guess bath toys should be the only toys in the bathroom from now on.

Then he continues to play around my feet while I put on my make-up. He plays in the bedroom as I iron my clothes and finish getting ready. I try not to give him up to his father until the last minute as I am walking out the door. I wonder when the time will come that he won't want his mommy to spend so much time with him. Hopefully not for another 12 or 13 years.

I think he has rhythm...

From pretty early on my son liked music. If he heard anything with a beat, he would move his little head. As he got older and was able to sit on his own, he would bop his head along with music. When I first noticed this, I would clap my hands to the music and he would get a silly smile across his face.

Then when he was able to stand up, he would bend his knees and bounce to the music. It seems that he likes the hip-hop and R&B most, probably because of the beat. I have tried other types of music and he won't dance to it. We have several music stations on our cable tv and if I turn one on, he will immediately stop what he is doing and start dancing. It is the funniest and sweetest thing I have ever seen. He will crawl over to some furniture, usually the couch, stand up and start bouncing. He started taking one hand and waving it along with the beat too.+

So far, in the 10-1/2 months that I have known this person that is part me and part my husband, I have learned that he loves electronics, loves music and seems to also love sports. He can throw a ball pretty far in a straight line. I don't know if this is typical of every baby but I am going to try to encourage these interests. All of these traits seem to come from his father. Hopefully he will also inherit my love of books and develop good study habits.

Almost a year...

I cannot believe that it has been almost a year since my son was born. Yesterday he was standing at the front glass door watching the traffic go by. He was shrieking with delight as a boy and his dog walked past the house. The weather was cool and the leaves are starting to fall off the trees. Several leaves flew by in the wind and it looks and feels like Fall.

I was standing behind my little man and was just in awe at the fact that last year at this time he was not even born. I didn't even really know him yet. I knew that he liked to move around at night and that he was filling up my insides leaving me no room to breathe. But I didn't know that his smile would melt my every time. I didn't know that I would feel helpless when he was sick and wish that I could take away the pain and discomfort. I didn't know that he would be so darn cute.

I was also struck by the thought that I couldn't believe I had brought this innocent little person into a cruel hard world. I hate watching the news because nothing good seems to happen. How could I let him grow up in a world of terrorists, drugs, economic instability, violence, etc. All we can do is love our children and give them the tools to deal with the bad and hope that they can bring about the good.

Now my husband wants another baby. We want at least two children and want them to be pretty close in age. I do want another one too but I just feel like I would be robbing my son of love and attention that would go to a new baby. I know that it is different when you have another baby and that your heart expands so you can love both more than you can imagine. Sounds good in theory but it seems impossible. I guess we will just have to wait and see what happens.

Sick again...

We have been really lucky. My son has only been sick once. On Friday night I noticed that he was sneezing. He sneezes at least twice a day so sneezing in itself doesn't worry me. But he did it a few times. He wasn't overly cranky and didn't seem to have any other symptoms of sickness.

We went to bed and he woke up several times in the middle of the night. We have been doing really great with our sleeping habits. He rarely gets up and if he does it is just for a minute or so and then back to bed. But he was crying so hard and seemed to be in such distress that I picked him up. I took him to the rocking chair and just held him until he calmed down. In the back of my mind I was hoping that I hadn't just ruined his sleeping through the night without being picked up. I was just so heartbroken by his sad cries. He eventually calmed down and drifted into a restless sleep. I held him for a long time, wanting him to feel secure. I hadn't connected this with the sneezing and the possibility that he was sick. I put him back in his crib and slept for a few hours. He woke up again around 3am and I was able to get him back to sleep without picking him up.

In the morning he seemed his bright cheerful self but he seemed to be burning up. I took his temperature right away and it was a little high - 99.7 degrees. I called the doctor but they told me that since it was under 100 that I should just give him a little baby tylenol and wait it out.

By now his nose was dripping. Every time he sneezed he had a river of boogies flowing down his nose. Even when he was sneezing, his nose was a faucet. I spent my Saturday wiping snots and sucking them out with his handy dandy boogie puller. I am sure he hated me by the time he went to bed.

The tylenol worked to bring down his fever. I took his temperature several times and it wasn't that high throughout the day. Around 8pm his little head seemed to be radiating heat. I took his temp and it was back up to 99.7. I gave him a little more medicine and gave him a nice cool bath. He loved that bath so I let him play in the water for a long time.

He hadn't been taking his bottle much so I was trying to get more liquid into him. He had a bunch of wet diapers so I wasn't concerned that he was dehydrated, I was just trying to prevent it. I had some pedialyte but he took one sip and refused to open his mouth after that. He took a little formula and then passed out. He didn't even wake up while I changed his diaper. I put him to bed and he didn't wake up until around 6am. I, on the other hand, couldn't sleep at all. I was worried about him and I kept listening for his little noises as he moved in his crib. He woke up cheerful as ever. His temp was back down to normal and he was sniffling but not flowing out of his nose. He napped for about an hour at around 8am. By the time the football game came on I knew he was sleepy. I took him up to my room where he was playing. He was rubbing his eyes so I laid down on the bed with him on my chest and he fell asleep right away. I gently moved him to the bed and cuddled him. I must have fallen asleep too because next thing I knew, it was 2 hours later. He was still fast asleep and I didn't want to move for fear of waking him up. So I stayed where I was, uncomfortable but I didn't care. He slept for another hour and when he woke up, I couldn't move my arm. As the feeling came back into my limbs, I realized that he wasn't sniffling at all. I took his temp and it was still normal.

Hopefully that was the end of it. The weather is starting to turn so I hope it doesn't bring on something else. I am just happy that this happened on the weekend so I could be home with him all day, making sure he was ok.

First steps...

He has been trying to walk for a while. Yesterday he was at my mother's house. I went there after work to pick him and we were visiting for a while. There are always toys scattered in the living room when he is there. My mother's house is otherwise immaculate and the mess seems out of place. I am surprised because she always wants me to let him eat his own food with his fingers, no matter how messy the food it. I tell her that he likes to throw things - one piece in the mouth, the next piece on the floor. But she loves it. It is funny how kids can affect someone's views on cleanliness. Before I had my son, I vowed that I wouldn't be one of those mom's whose house was an obstacle course of toys. Now, if you come to my house, you have to be nimble and flexible to get around everything that is strewn from living room to dining room. He has the run of the house and I don't mind one bit. It is his house too and he is not scared to make himself comfortable.

Anyway, I got to my mother's house and he was happily playing with his little squeaky ducky. He loves ducks. He stood up at a chair and I held out my hands for him to walk to me. Usually he gets down on his knees and crawls. But he let go of the chair and took 3 wobbly steps toward me. He stepped on his little squeaky duck and that threw him completely off balance. If that duck had not been in the way, he probably could have gone a mile. I tried and tried to get him to do it again but by this time he was too excited and I couldn't get him steady enough to go without falling immediately. I have to remind myself that he is only 10-1/2 months old and I have to be patient. It is just too exciting! I am hoping he is walking by his first birthday. I want him to impress everyone by walking into his party.

Terrible mother...

My husband makes me feel like a terrible mother and maybe he is right. My son gets bumps and bruises and falls down all the time when I am watching him. When my husband is home with him, he rarely gets hurt. Don't get me wrong, my son is not getting injured but I let him explore and work things out on his own. When he first learned to crawl, I didn't restrict him. Of course I blocked stairways and closed rooms that are not quite baby proofed. When he started to stand up, I didn't restrict him. He would crawl to a baby gate or to a wall and stand up. He was still pretty wobbly so he would lose his balance and sometimes bump his little head. I was never far but I also didn't hold him up. I wanted him to learn how to stand up and learn how to keep balance.

In the front of my house there is a little step leading to the front door. He went down that step so many times face first. I was right there with him but I let him learn it for himself. One time he fell, not too hard, on his ear. His ear was red afterward and he cried hard. After a minute or so, he was fine and distracted by something else. But my husband thinks that I am terrible for letting him fall. I feel like he learned how to get down that stair and does it so easily and without effort now so that I am not constantly worried that he will crawl over there and really hurt himself. He loves to stand and look out the front door so I hated to block it off. Now he is a pro getting down that step and if I did it for him he wouldn't have learned to do it on his own.

Yesterday we were playing on the floor. I was laying on my back and he was crawling all over me. I pretended like I was coming after him and he would crawl away as fast as he could and look over his shoulder to see if I was hot on his trail. But I would just lay back down and he would hurry back to me to try to get me to come after him. We did this for a while and one time he scooted away and went to the baby gate. He stood up and looked back at me. I pretended to be asleep so he would come back and attack me. Then I heard him shriek and heard the rattle of the baby gate. I jumped up and he was crying hard. He little hand was still holding the gate as he sat on the floor with big tears rolling down his face. I thought he caught his finger or something so I grabbed him and hugged him as I tried to look at his hands. They seemed ok and I was able to calm him down pretty quickly. It was almost bedtime so I sat with him and rocked him a little. I gave him his bedtime bottle and he was back to his normal self. Then I noticed a huge bump by his eye. Apparently he didn't hurt his hand but had bumped his eye. I couldn't figure out what he could have hit his head on but it was probably the wall or something. I put a little ice on it but it didn't seem to be bothering him. My husband got home late and I told him about it. The baby was already asleep so he couldn't see it. He was so mad at me that I let it happen. I argued that it was a freak thing. I can't put him in his pack-n-play all day long and I don't want to hold him back from developing. Bumps and brusies are a part of this age. But then I doubted myself and felt like I should have been able to prevent it. We were playing and I didn't see what happened. I shouldn't have been pretending to sleep. When we woke up this morning, the bump was gone and you couldn't even tell that something had happened. Now I am going to be more cautious and try not to hamper his growth and development.

Tantrums...

How do parents deal with tantrums? My son just started throwing trantrums a month or so ago. I noticed it when I was trying to calm him down to get ready for bed. I sat him on my lap and leaned back so we could cuddle for a while. He arched his back and threw his head back. Luckily I had a good grip on him because I wasn't expecting it and I would have dropped him. He squealed and tried to wriggle free. I couldn't believe it. He had never had any kind of temper and I was shocked that he was acting this way.

The next day he was at my parents house and when I went to pick him up, my mother said he got mad at her and pushed her away when she was trying to feed him. She said he was probably done with his food because he wasn't readily opening his mouth for more but she tried to give him another spoonful just to make sure he was really done. He shook his head no and yelled at her. He pushed the spoon away and got food everywhere.

After that he seemed to do this a lot, whenever he didn't want to do something. I thought there was no way that my kid would behave badly, in private or in public. At first I just didn't deal with it. I wasn't going to give in and give him attention for bad behavior. When he started to throw a fit, I would just put him down and walk away. I had read too often how a child will learn which behaviors get attention and will repeat that behavior. Ignoring him didn't seem to be working. And I read conflicting information that shows that ignoring a child can make them feel insecure about having their needs met and can worsen the situation. There are always two, three, four sides to every argument. I was just trying to find what worked for us.

So then I tried another method. If he started to act up, I would hold him firmly on my lap and tell him no. No struggling, no yelling. Just a firm no. When he was calm, I would let him down. This seems to work best and he throws fewer tantrums. I can't imagine his terrible twos...

Diaper rash...

We have been extremely lucky as far as diaper rash is concerned. My son has never had any signs of it at all. He doesn't mind a wet or dirty diaper and will never cry if he needs to be changed. I am constantly checking him because I hate the thought of him sitting in an uncomfortable diaper but if I left it up to him, he would sit in it all day.

My husband works a couple evenings a week so he drops off my son at my parents house and I go pick him up after work. It is a good arrangement. They get to see their grandson and they usually feed me before I make my way home. Usually they are waiting for me at the door. But this time I walk in the house and my father is standing in the kitchen which is down a long hallway from the front door. I could hear my son crying hard and my dad had a strange look on my face. As I walked toward him, he said "His scrotum is so red." Then he turned and walked back into the living room. If I hadn't been so concerned by the seriousness of his face and voice, I would have thought it was extremely comical. My father is pretty conservative, or at least that is how I see him. Before I had a baby, I would have been mortified if he had used words describing a person's private parts.

I followed him into the living room and my mother was trying to comfort my little boy. I ran to him and hugged him hard. They said that they were just changing a poopy diaper and he was bright red. My mother said that as soon as she started to wipe him he started screaming. But it couldn't be helped, she needed to get him clean. He was finally calm but I wanted to see it for myself. I pulled back his diaper and was appalled by the sight. It was as red as a tomato. I freaked out and wanted to take him to the doctor immediately. Now it was my turn to calm down. My parents put some diaper cream on it and told me to wait and see if it got better. He was eating so many new foods that something probably just irritated him. And he wasn't crying anymore, just seemed perfectly content.

I called my husband and asked him if he had noticed anything that day. He said no but the day before he had noticed some redness. It had gone away by the next diaper change though so he had forgotten to mention it.

We stayed and ate and I took my son home. When my husband got home from work, I showed him the redness. He was more shocked than I had been. He said the redness he had noticed the day before could not even compare to this.

We kept him lubed up with the diaper cream. Usually I don't change his diaper in the middle of the night but that night I checked on him and changed it. I didn't turn on the light but I have a small night light in the corner of the room so I can see what I am doing. It still looked bright red, even in the dark. In the morning I checked and the redness had gone down significantly though it was still pretty bright. And I noticed that it had spread to his little bottom. We changed him often and let him go diaper free when we knew it was safe. By the next day it had gone down even more and was pretty much gone by the day after that.

I know that it was just diaper rash but it was scary. I have been careful not to give him the foods that he ate in the day before and of the rash just in case that was the cause. Luckily it has not reappeared.

Almost walking...

From the first week my son learned to crawl, he was pulling himself up on furniture to stand up. He started crusing along furniture. Slowly at first and then faster and more steady as he gained confidence. He is now 10 months old and has been crawling for almost 4 months. Everyday I expect him to start walking.

With a firm hold on the furniture, he is fine and can go all the way around the room. It is fascinating how a being that never knew how to walk before just instinctively knows how to do it. If you are in an accident or somehow lose function in your legs, it can take months of rehab to learn how to walk again. I never had to teach my son how to walk. He just somehow knows what he is supposed to do. Now we are just waiting for his legs to be strong and steady enough to hold his weight.

I recently bought him a toy that can fold up and has all sorts of bobbles for him to play with. But when unfolded, it has a handle and wheels so he can push it and walk behind. He was very wobbly at first and wouldn't attempt it without me right behind him. Within in the past few weeks he crawls right over to it, stands up and walks across the room with it. When he gets to an obstacle, like a wall or a door. He continues to try to walk. I noticed that he is starting to understand that you can't keep going through a wall and a door. He gets to the other side of the toy and pushes it backwards. It is very cute and I am very proud of his problem solving skills but it is hazardous to push the toy from the front. He has tipped it over a number of times by trying to do this. It is hard because I want to encourage him to find solutions to the problems he faces but I don't want him to get hurt. It is a tough balance.

He also knows how to go up stairs but down only one stair. My front entrance is one step down from the living room. Through trial and error he learned how to get down that one little step and he is pretty good at it. Under my supervision, he started to go head first. Then he realized that if he gets to the edge of the step, he can put his hands out to the lower level and then scoots his little bottom until he can slide his back end over the edge. He needs a lot of room though so it isn't ideal for a flight of stairs. But he does love to go up the stairs. He makes a beeline to the stairs and can go up the entire thing. I of course have to carry him down. He is very sweet. He will go up one stair and then look back at me. I smile and he goes up the next one and looks back. I don't know if he is looking for encouragement, approval or just to make sure I will be there to catch him if he slips. Whatever he is thinking, I love it. Baby gates are a lifesaver. I wouldn't be able to keep him away if I didn't have one in place.

In the past week he has been standing unassisted for longer periods of time. I have tried to get him to take a step when he is standing but he always sits down before coming to me. Last night he did take a couple of small steps before sitting. I just can't wait until he is confident that he can take more steps and he won't fall down. This is all so exciting. Everyone tells me that once he starts walking I will wish that he wasn't. But I don't think that is true. We shall see.

Sleep training part 3...

The first night of sleep training was torture. The second night wasn't as bad and I could see the glimmer of success. The third night started much like the previous two. But this time my son only got up once after I put him in his crib. I was relieved and proud when he stayed down and fell asleep. In the middle of the night he got up a couple of times. I didn't attempt to sleep on the floor this time. I just sat in the rocker so he could still see me but I would have an easier time getting out of the room without making noise. He got back to sleep very quickly and I settled into the chair.

The next thing I knew, I was waking up, stiff as a board in my chair. He was fast asleep and I hobbled back to bed and saw that it was an hour and 40 minutes later. At least he was getting a good night's sleep.

He did wake a couple more times but it was no more than a minute. And I noticed that now he wasn't standing up. If he woke, he would just whine but stay down.

The fourth night, I did the same thing. I fell asleep in that chair for a couple of hours. I literally must fall asleep as soon as I sit down because I don't even remember falling asleep. He slept better still.

The fifth night started out perfect. He went right down in his crib and I was able to get out of his room in a minute. He woke twice that night but this time I waited. When I heard him moving and heard him cry out, I just stayed in my bed listening. In less than a minute he was quiet. He had fallen back to sleep. The second time he woke, it was even less time. I never left my bed. In the morning when he woke up for real, I went into his room and he was standing there, waiting. I scooped him up and gave him big hugs. He seemed to realize that it was time to get up and was distinguishing between when he should stay down and stand up.

It took five nights. Now we have been sleeping through the night for a week. He still wakes up a good 20 minutes before my alarm is set to go off. But I don't mind. I use those minutes to cuddle with him on the couch. I may have been desparate for him to sleep through the night again but I still need my cuddle fix.

Sleep training part 2...

The first night of trying to get my son to sleep through the night again was a nightmare. The second night I decided to try a different tactic. Getting him to sleep was a little better. I again waited until he was very sleepy and then put him in his crib. He popped up as soon as I laid him down. But this time he seemed to know that I wouldn't pick him up. I put him back down and rubbed his belly. He only did this a few times and I was able to get out of his room within a half hour. Much better than the two hours spent the night before.

I couldn't believe how quickly he had learned to go to sleep on his own so I was hopeful that this night would be better. I soon found out that it was different, not necessarily better. Two hours after he went to bed, I heard him stand up and start crying. I went into his room and laid him down. Rubbed his belly and this time he stayed down. I waited until his breathing was steady and I knew he was asleep. I moved away from his crib toward the door but he sensed me leaving and picked his head up. He started to stand up but I went back toward the crib and he stayed down. I had brought a pillow in with me and I laid on the floor. I was too tired to stand there all night but I was determined to make him stay in the crib. He seemed to know that I was still in the room and that comforted him. He was fast asleep within minutes and I was able to go back to my comfy bed.

He did wake a couple more times that night but each time was a little better. He was getting to sleep faster and staying asleep for longer.

I was still tired when I woke up for work. He woke up and I again made a big deal of it being morning and now he could come out of his crib. I was hoping that it wouldn't take much longer. It is funny how you adjust your life to accommodate your child. I would do anything for him, even if means sleeping in two hour spurts and laying on a floor in the middle of the night.

Sleep training...

I never believed in the cry it out method of sleep training. Especially not when my son started standing up in his crib. At first he couldn't sit back down on his own and would cry until we came to get him. But once he was able to sit down, he still just stood there and shook the crib. The first night I tried to break the habit of his waking and me scooping him up and going to sleep with him, it took 2 hours to get him to go to sleep. After that I was exhausted. I went to bed, hoping that he would just stay asleep. I guess that was too much to hope for.

Two hours later he woke and I could hear him stand up in his crib. I waited. He started crying. I waited for about 30 seconds to see what he would do but it didn't sound like he would all of a sudden realize that he should be sleeping and lay back down. I got up and there he was, standing at the rails, waiting for me to pick him up and take him to the couch. He had another thing coming. I laid him down and he threw a fit. I wanted to pick him up but didn't. I rubbed his belly and went through the same motions as when I tried to put him to bed. This lasted a good hour and I was able to finally sneak out and go back to bed.

Two hours later, same thing. This happened all night long. When it was finally time to get up for real, he was standing in his crib. I made a big deal about it being morning and it was time to get up before I picked him up out of his crib. I was so tired and wondered how I would get through another night of this. Then I remembered that he had only recently started sleeping through the night before this hiccup so I had been doing this not too long ago. But at that time he wasn't getting up every 2 hours, just once for a night feeding.

He was so bright and cheerful when I got him up for the day. I was mad at him. Then I felt guilty. I had allowed this to happen. He is just a baby. I couldn't let him know that I was frustrated and tired. I just had to stick to my guns and be consistent.

I went to work and nearly fell asleep at my desk. When I got home, I had a lovely time with my angel. As bedtime grew nearer, I had a pit in my stomach. I got myself mentally together to give it another try...

I just have to do it...

We had not been sleeping through the night for some time now. It was easier for me to pick my son up and comfort him. I always ended up on the couch with him so both of us could get some sleep. Well, I knew it was a bad habit that needed to be broken but I was also pretty sad. I enjoyed the cuddle time with him, especially because I feel guilty every morning for leaving him all day long.

I knew it would be tough, but I started that night. First, I put him to bed before he was fast asleep. I had read that when you put a baby to bed when they are asleep, they can wake up and see that they are no longer in your arms and get scared. Kind of like, where am I? This isn't where I fell asleep. He used to go down when he was sleepy but still awake but hadn't for a long time. So I put him in his crib when he was drowsy. It was almost like the crib gave him an electrical shock. He popped right up, standing at the rails and crying. I wanted to pick him up but knew I shouldn't, that I couldn't. I just picked him up to lay him down. I rubbed his belly for a little while so he knew I was still there. I couldn't believe it but it seemed to be working. When I thought he was asleep, I took my hand away and creeped toward the door. Then up he popped, standing up again. I laid him down and rubbed his belly. We did this for about an hour and a half. I was exhausted, he was exhausted. Finally, I laid him down and sat in the rocker across the room. This way he would still be able to see me and I could say some soothing words.

As soon as I sat down, he popped back up. I laid him down and instead of rubbing his belly, I just sat down. We did this several times and it seemed to backfire because now he thought it was a game. He would stand up, I would get up and walk to the crib and he would scurry away to the corner of the crib and "hide", peeking around to see if I was going to get him. If I wasn't so frustrated, I would have thought it was adorable.

Finally, he was just too tired to fight sleep. I laid him down. He seemed to be thinking about standing up but then decided against it. He was asleep. I breathed a sigh of relief and tried to get out of the room without the floor creaking.