Oh no, here they come...

After the doctor broke my bag of waters, I wasn't sure what to expect. My pain level had been non-existent up until that point. Within a half hour of my water breaking, I actually felt my first contraction. I felt the tightening of my belly and I felt a cramping sensation. It didn't really hurt at all. The monitors showed that I was having contractions about 4-5 minutes apart and they weren't lasting more than 15-30 seconds.

My husband and parents were back in the room by now and we were all just sitting around. I can't even remember what we were talking about. I guess it wasn't that important compared to the life changing biological process that was taking place.

The doctor came in and checked me and I was 3cm dilated. I had made some progress. My contractions were a little more intense and I raised my pain level to 2. The smiley face wasn't frowning yet but the smile was beginning to disappear. I was advised to try to get some rest because apparently when the body is relaxed, the labor progresses more rapidly. I tried to rest but I felt like I had to entertain the party in the room. And the nurses wouldn't leave me alone for more than 5 minutes at a time.

This state of limbo lasted for about an hour. My contractions were a little closer together and lasting for a bit longer but they weren't close together on a regular basis. After an hour or so, the contractions increased in strength. The pain was slowly inching up the chart and I was now at a 5. I was asked if I wanted ice chips and I still didn't want them. I thought I should have them because that is what you see women in labor munching on but I really didn't want them. It was almost like I wanted to shout at the nurse to not ask me about them again and that I would ask for them if I needed them. Irrational, but that is how I felt. At that point I knew that I was in a transition stage because I normally wouldn't be so adamant about something as silly as ice chips.

It was around this time that I tried to send my husband home. I was only 3cm dilated and I figured I would be there for a while and I wanted him to go home and be with the dogs, assuming that he would be at the hospital all night. He refused to go and I let it go for the moment.

My contractions were now becoming more and more painful. There was the tightening of the belly and the cramping. But it also felt like I was losing control. It was like when you are on a roller coaster and go over the first big hill. I always feel like my insides are going to fall out and I jam my feet against the floor to get some stability. That is what contractions felt like. I felt like my insides were going to fall out and I had to push back against the bed to get some support. I was gripping the bedrails like it was my job. I also held my breath. I knew I was supposed to breathe but my it felt better to hold my breath.

My father was annoying me because he grabbing my feet. I didn't want my feet to be grabbed but I didn't want to hurt my father's feelings so I let him do it. And I would just lash out at my husband instead. I told him that it would feel really good if I could kick him really hard. But then I apologized. It would have felt good while I was going through the contractions though.

The contractions were getting stronger and stronger and were only about a minute apart. They were lasting almost a minute too so there was little time for relief in between. I love my parents. I really do. But it was during my contractions-free minute that they wanted to take pictures of me in the hospital bed. Today I laugh at the pictures because I am smiling like I was getting glamour shots done. Then as soon as the flash was over, I would be grabbing the bed rails. I guess it was my fault because apparently I wasn't clear that I was in pain. Both my husband and father said that I was stoic through the contractions and they had no idea that I was in so much pain. My pain level was at an 8 and I decided to ask for an epidural. I was at 4cm so I figured I had a lot of time left and wanted to be comfortable. I was hoping to go without but maybe I will be ok for the next baby now that I know what to expect.