It didn't work...

I was laying in the bed on my left side. The epidural was in and I was pain free. I tried to rest but it really is impossible when people are walking in all the time. My mother-in-law arrived at the hospital. My father-in-law decided to wait out my labor on the golf course. My parents and mother-in-law decided to wait in the waiting room so we could be alone.

Very slowly I started to feel my contractions again. I remembered what they said about the epidural and thought that the medicine was flowing to one side. I rolled onto my back so I was more centered and the medicine could be more evenly distributed. It helped for a while but soon I was feeling the painful contractions. I called the nurse in and told her that the epidural wasn't working. My contractions had slowed down so I wasn't in constant pain but I still wanted it to work. She gave me a little more medicine and I settled back in to wait.

The increased medicine worked for maybe 15 minutes. Then I was in pain again. And this time it was more in my bottom area. I didn't call the nurse right away because I figured she would be back in my room in a second anyway. But it took a bit longer for her to reappear. When she did come in, I told her that I was still feeling pain. Before she increased my medicine again she wanted the doctor to check me. I guess to make sure I wasn't too far into labor to give me more. I had been at 4cm about 2 hours before.

I waited a few more minutes for the doctor. It wasn't my regular doctor who checked me because my doctor was in surgery with a c-section. When the doctor did the exam, he announced that I was 10cm and needed to start pushing.

Needless to say, I was in shock. And I wasn't ready. I figured I had several more hours to get mentally and emotionally prepared to start pushing. I kept saying, "I'm not ready yet" over and over.

Because my doctor was in surgery, they decided that the baby's heartrate was fine and that I could wait until she was done. She had been paged so she knew I was ready when she was. Another 10 minutes rolled by and she called and said to go ahead and start pushing because she was going to be longer than expected.

Meanwhile my parents and mother-in-law just got back to the waiting room from the cafeteria. My husband ran out and told them I was going to start pushing and that they had to stay out. I only wanted my husband in the room with me but I regret not being able to see my mother before I started pushing.

Another OBGYN from my doctor's office was at the hospital at the time. I had seen her for several of my prenatal visits and I loved her. So I was happy that she would be there to deliver my baby. She came into the room and there was an organized chaos to get the room ready. My bed was broken apart, tables were wheeled in, packages of instruments were opened. It was a flurry of activity.

Then I just waited for instructions for my doctor. I didn't know what to do and hadn't been to the birthing classes. I was scared but there really wasn't much time to dwell. I pushed my fears out of my head so I would be able to push my baby out into the world.