This is gonna be hard...

During that second day in the hospital, I was struck by the thought that this was going to be a lot harder than I expected. I knew caring for a newborn was going to be hard and that I was going to be tired but I was just exhausted. I was recovering from childbirth and trying to take care of the baby by myself. My husband was working. I didn't want him to waste vacation days sitting at the hospital. I would rather him be off when we were back home. I could have had the nurse take the baby to the nursery but I was so emotional that I didn't want him to be away from me.

It hurt to do everything but I had to do it. I had a little person that was relying on me to comfort him when he was upset, feed him when he was hungry and change him when he was wet or poopy. His needs couldn't wait until I felt better. I just had to do it. It reminded me of a saying that mom's don't get sick days.

I showered while he slept. I made my phone calls - to my co-workers, friends, insurance company, disability company, peditrician, etc. I watched shows about baby care that were provided on the hospital TV set. And even though I was so tired, I didn't nap at all. I was too wired from the whole experience.

My blood sugar had been checked constantly and everything was back to normal. I could eat regular foods. I was afraid that I would go overboard and eat everything I couldn't while I was pregnant and gain more weight. I had lost about 12 pounds right away because of the weight of the baby, the placenta and all of the fluids. I was amazed that I still looked pregnant. I guess that is normal and it takes some time for the belly to go down. And I was determined to not eat too much pasta and sweets to make it harder for me to lose the rest of the weight.

The baby's sugars were normal too so they no longer had to check his blood every time he ate. I was relieved. I hated that he was getting poked and prodded, like that was his welcome to life.

This would be my last night at the hospital. Everyone had been so nice so my mother-in-law brought in 3 huge cookie platters for each shift. She had worked as a labor and delivery nurse at that hospital for many years and still knew a lot of the nurses. She knew they would appreciate it.

As the day turned into night, I had my son taken to the nursery. I settled in for my last night at the hospital and wouldn't you know it, I couldn't sleep. I was consumed with thoughts of how home life would be with this baby that I had already fallen in love with. I couldn't wait to get home and start my life with my newly expanded family.