Ready or not...

Ready or not, I had to start pushing. I had my husband on my left side and a nurse on my right. The doctor was there, an intern and a couple other nurses. I was told to push a little. The baby was not facing in the right direction. I could barely feel the contractions. The pain I had felt was more from the pressure than from the contractions. But I was supposed to push when the contractions came. I did this for abuot 20 minutes, not pushing hard. They were trying to turn the baby so he came out the right way. It didn't hurt but it was annoying because all I wanted to do was push him out. I wanted to meet him finally.

They got him turned around somewhat and I was able to start pushing for real. This task was so much more difficult than I could have imagined. I don't know if it was because of the epidural or not but I had no idea what I was doing. I pushing as hard as I could but it felt like all I was pushing was my face. I couldn't tell if I was pushing the baby out. I kept asking if I was doing it right and they were all very encouraging and letting me know that I was doing just fine.

I pushed with every contraction. At first I they had to tell me when to push because I couldn't tell. Eventually I started to feel when I needed to push so that was better. I felt liquids coming out. Most women are afraid of pooping on the table but I wasn't scared. I told my husband that I probably would so not to be shocked. But with everything going on down there, I had no idea if I had or hadn't. I don't know what the liquids were but I figured it was normal because no one was freaking out.

And my husband didn't even want to be in the room for the delivery in the first place. He has a really weak stomach when it comes to this type of thing. Also one of the reasons he wouldn't go to childbirth classes. He was afraid that he would get sick or pass out. If your significant other is like this, let the nurses know. They were good about asking him how he was doing and getting orange juice for him so he didn't pass out. But he was there, he just wasn't going to look.

To push, you need a lot of leverage. That is why you see people holding the mom's feet. My husband held one foot and a nurse held the other. I pushed and pushed and pushed. At some point my husband looked. I was surprised but happy that he was still standing after he got a peek. But then he couldn't look away. He said it was the most unbelievable thing he has ever seen. You can see the head crowning but then it goes back in until you have another contraction and push again.

This went on for what seemed like hours. Then I was told that they had to do an episiotomy. I didn't care then but I regretted it afterward. So they cut and I pushed. I wish the nurses would have counted to 10 or something because then I would have had a goal when I was pushing. Instead they were like cheerleaders, telling me to push a little more, a little more, a little more. You're doing great, just a little more. Deep breath and push. Keep going, you can do it. I think that if they had just counted, I could have kept up. I didn't even think to ask them to do this at the time. I will have to remember that for next time.

Then the moment I had waited nine months for. His head was out. I was told to just push a little bit more and he was completely out. He was born. There was a period of time for about 10 minutes when he didn't cry and I was so scared. Turns out it was only for about 30 seconds but it felt like forever. The clamped the cord and gave the scissors to my husband. I couldn't believe he was going to cut the cord. But he did and I was happy. It seemed like immediately as the cord was being cut, my son took his first breaths and cried. Such a sweet and welcomed sound!