I can't do this...

From what I remembered, the pushing was the hardest part. I wasn't really looking forward to it but thought maybe it would be easier now that I knew what I was doing. I was wrong. It wasn't easier. It was just as hard. I started pushing and still didn't know if I was doing it right. It is the strangest feeling, having your legs numb and trying to push a baby out. I kept at it but didn't feel like I was making any progress.

And my doctor didn't help much. She wasn't the cheerleader type. It was more like boot camp. At one point, I raised my rear end because I felt like it would give me some leverage to push. I felt like it was helping. Well, she said, "Get your G-d d**m *** back on the table!" Whoa. Ok. I was trying too hard to have the baby to even come up with a response. I only pushed for about 45 minutes but it felt like forever. I said multiple times that I couldn't do it. I truly felt like it couldn't be done. But eventually he was out.

I didn't hear anything at first. The baby didn't cry and the doctor didn't say anything. They were working on him for a minute and he finally cried. My husband cut the cord and they whisked him away. He was crying steadily now and my husband told me that the cord had been around his neck. He was fine though, very healthy.

I was anxious to hear how much he weighed because he had streched my body to the limit. I was expecting 7-1/2 pounds so I was shocked when they said 8lbs 6oz. What!!! He was almost a full 2 pounds bigger than my first. It was funny how tiny he looked though. When I finally got to hold him, I was in awe. He was perfect. He had the most wonderful skin and was just beautiful. I was able to be with him for a couple of hours before they took him up the nursery. Of course he was being passed around to my husband and the grandparents so I didn't get to keep him to myself but I knew they were also very excited to get to know him too.