I can't wait...

The first couple months of a baby's life are pretty uneventful. They can't really do anything exciting or fun. On the other hand, everything they do is exciting and fun. He ate, slept and pooped. But he also started cooing. The little noises he made were unbelieveably cute. He started to show non-gas related smiles which melted my heart. He seemed to move his arms and legs purposely, rather than just as a reflex.

He was on track developmentally but I just couldn't wait for other big milestones. I wanted to feed him solids. I wanted him to laugh. I wanted him to crawl. I wanted him to give me kisses back. I wanted him to say mama, dada, and I love you. But the time flies when they are so little. And I didn't want him to get any bigger. He fit perfectly in my arms and on my chest. I didn't want him to get too big where I couldn't cuddle with him anymore. I didn't want him to grow up and gain independence and not want to be with me all the time. But that is inevitable. I couldn't have it both ways. I couldn't want him to grow up and do all of these things and keep him my little tiny baby forever.

He also had his follow-up weight check when he was 2 weeks old and his first shots when he turned 2 months. The 2 week visit was good. He had gained weight so he was just a little more than he had weighed when he was born. It was a good thing because he had lost so much in the beginning. His circumcision had healed and I was able to give him big boy baths in his baby tub. His 2 month visit was good too. He was in the 25th percentile for height, weight and head circumference. He was small but he was still on a nice curve.

He didn't cry much and I thought I had the best behaved, well mannered baby in the world. Then came time for his shots. The first vaccination was oral. He had to drink a liquid. He took it right down like a champ. The nurse said that most babies cry and spit it out. Just reinforced the fact that I had the best baby. Then he had his first shot which had a few vaccines. For the first couple of seconds he didn't cry at all, just looked a little confused. Then it hit him and he screamed so loud. It was the loudest, most piercing scream I had ever heard. I wanted to scoop him off of that table and run. I wanted to cry. I had to squeeze back the tears. I felt so guilty that I was making him go through this pain. But it wasn't over. He had to get his second shot. The reaction to the second shot was exactly the same. The nurse left the room and I was left to comfort my son who had just been stabbed with a needle. He was fine within a minute. He stopped crying and I was right back to normal. He handled this first set of vaccinations very well.

But now that his 2 months birthday had passed, I had to start thinking about returning to work. Well, I would think about it another time. For now, I happy to be in denial.